(no subject)

[sabrinamari]

Last night was a little melancholy, but I realized then and today that all is essentially well. I am blessed with no terrifying challenge that I fear I cannot meet; I am not missing key information about my problems that restrains me from optimally effective action (as was the case for so many years in my marriage). No one intends me ill. All the betrayals that I have experienced in recent years are the burdens of my betrayers, not mine. My life is rich and full of possibilities. There is no one here to tell me that I am not pretty enough, not good enough, too "NASCAR instead of ballet," or any other other such insult. There is no one projecting their fears and faults onto my character.

Instead, I am surrounded by friends that I trust. I can look at my community and see plenty of integrity. I can look in my heart and see good intentions and the sweet desire to give and receive love. I can look at my history and make peace with it. I can forgive my past faults and acknowledge that I learned well from them, and that I can trust myself, more than I have ever been able to trust myself, to "first, do no harm".

I have been part of something great. I have been part of Braided Stream and Blue Star.

My family loves me, and I love them. They see me as I am; they know me, and they love me still. I harbor no fears that I am loved only because my true self is hidden. If I am sad sometimes, it is OK to be sad. If I am happy, I can enjoy each exquisite moment of that happiness. And while I want to live a long, healthy, full and joyful life, if I die today, it will be alright. Because I have done well with I have been given, and it is enough.

Crying, but grateful for my life and the many, many good things in it.

Blessed Be.

Comments

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I need to call you and make some plans! : )