Life of Joy

Time to get out my light boxes. This year, I'd love to have a visor---I tried vgnwtch's last year and it was delightfully yummy. All that warm, sensual, white-hot light enveloping me, yet allowing me the freedom to move. Perfect.

But alas, they are expensive. At least some research suggests they are actually elaborate placebos, which does not bother me at all---I think placebos are a ridiculously underused resource. Since most have no side effects, what ARE clinicians thinking when they dismiss these valuable tools? Silly providers. Besides, visors *feel* so comforting!

My only issue is their high cost. So I will troll about, looking for an unloved, sale-priced white-light visor. I will be patient. In the meantime, it's up ridiculously early for me, hanging out in front of the sunbox, and then off to the gym, because in winter's cold embrace, only light, heat and intense exercise make life possible, recreating the sun's glory as it eases away from us. Mmmmm, warm, white-hot light.

I worked under the sun lamp for the first time tonight. Instead of feeling tired, unfocused, and cold---I am always so cold in the fall and winter and it limits me so much---I felt awake, alert and alive.

I guess I really do have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). That would explain the aversion to darkness that creeps in during the fall, the slow, slow mind of winter evenings, and even the excessive cold sensitivity---another of the symptoms of SAD.

I'm gonna live under this sun lamp all winter long.