sabrinamari: (healing)
Do not do what fear tells you to do.

Be cautious, be wise, investigate, reflect, communicate, plan carefully, be creative.

But when crunch time comes, when the emergency comes, do not do what fear tells you to do.

Even when it seems crazy, even when people you love and adore counsel you to do so, do not do what fear tells you to do.

We are often like the pilot in Pitch Black, who, faced with the horror of death and loss, reaches for the handle that will eject all the living passengers behind her. If she does not eject them, she fears, she'll never get the nose of the ship up before it crashes and explodes.

"I'm not gonna die for them!" she cries out in anger and anguish. In moments of fear, the easiest thing to do is take the action that our terrified hearts whisper will save us from the bad thing, the terrifying thing, the thing we fear the most.

But it is almost never the right thing to do.

I've learned it a million times and I learned it again last Friday.

In moments of anxiety, fear and shame, do not do the thing that fear tells you to do.
sabrinamari: (Venus)
On December 1, I did a talk at LeHigh Valley that enabled me to listen to some other really, really good talks.

The one that impressed me the most was a talk on the impact of early trauma on behavior.

I didn't know that much about trauma, or about how trauma is often misdiagnosed, so this talk really opened my mind and heart about it.
Read more... )
sabrinamari: (Default)
Train in the middle way

The middle way is wide open, but it’s tough going, because it goes against the grain of an ancient neurotic pattern that we all share. When we feel lonely, when we feel hopeless, what we want to do is move to the right or left. We don’t want to sit and feel what we feel. We don’t want to go through the detox. Yet the middle way encourages us to do just that. It encourages us to awaken the bravery that exists in everyone without exception, including you and me.

Meditation provides a way for us to train in the middle way – in staying right on the spot. We are encouraged not to judge whatever arises in our mind. In fact, we are encouraged not to even grasp whatever arises in our mind. What we usually call good or bad we simply acknowledge as thinking, without all the usual drama that goes along with right or wrong. We are instructed to let the thoughts come and go as if touching a bubble with a feather. This straight-forward discipline prepares us to stop struggling and discover a fresh, unbiased state of being.

Pema Chodron

Good reminder, especially for today.
sabrinamari: (Venus)
When I was small, things were sad in my house. My mom was an overwhelmed grad student, teaching too many classes, working way too hard and raising a small child...and then a few years later, another. My dad did his best to stay upbeat, support us all and keep everyone happy, but in truth, anger and resentment ruled our house.

It was a cold childhood, and for my brother and I, it was a sad one.

Difficult, painful and beautiful )
sabrinamari: (Default)
From [ profile] crytolos

May 31st, 2010 at 10:44 PM

I saw Isaac Bonewits in the hospital today. His surgery was successful, in the sense that it re-configured his intestinal tract in the planned way. But otherwise, he looked more miserable than I've seen him so far during this process.

There were both the "Rolling Thunder" and the fundraiser. All that energy and effort is very much appreciated. However, it seems that he needs some more short-term focus on specific issues. Anyone who ever studied with Isaac, or read Isaac's works, knows the importance of directing energies to isolated targets.

I've received Phae's permission to propose an unusual approach so that each issue is separately and solely targeted by a specific group of people. As a member of Hermes Council (see his book "The Pagan Man" for a description), I'm going to base who targets what based on an orthographic method.

Here's the list:

If your groups' name (or, if you're solitary, your magical name) begins with the letters A through F inclusive, focus on pain management. He is been worn down by the continuous grind of dealing with the pain. He has pain from the surgery, but he also feels pain from the two tumors in his lymph nodes. You are asked to focus on relieving the pain so he can sleep, and make the work of the other groups possible.

If your name (group or solitary) begins with G-M, your task is to work on healing the results of his colostomy. That surgery needs to be healed so his body can focus on recovering from the chemotherapy. This surgery is temporary; healed tumors mean the procedure can be reversed. But it needs to heal for the tumor-reduction process to work.

If your name begins with N-T, your focus is on the tumors. There are five sites: three in his colon, and two in the lymph nodes underneath his stomach. The point of the surgery was to stop the colon tumors from being abraded, which put his body in the position of healing the surface of his tumors instead of recovering from the chemotherapy. Now that that confusion has been addressed, your task is tumor reduction.

If your name begins with U through Z, or you use some non-Roman or non-alphabetic sigil for the name of your group, your task is to work on Isaac's spirit. The point of my going through the "gooey" details in the previous paragraphs was to give you some insight into why this entire process is grinding him down. Those of us who know from contact, speeches, and his books remember him as vital, opinionated, infuriating, and wise. Focus on connecting Isaac with those spiritual strengths again.

Special assignment: If you live within convenient traveling distance from Valley Cottage NY, there is an important and valuable contribution you can make that even supersedes the magical working outlined above. Please contact Phae for more information.

If you'd like to forward this blog post, the link is


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June 2012

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