sabrinamari: (We are family)
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I'm taking Trent and Michael to Ostara today, to watch [livejournal.com profile] cobraemt fulfill one of his initiation requirements. He has planned this for months and I think it will be delightful. Plus, Trent loves Ostara.

I did the requisite Sabbat morning phone call from one organizer to another:

"OK, we're bringing x, y and z. What else do you need?"

Cobra: "Nothing. We're good. We have everything."

Pause.

Sabrina: "Do you have charcoal? Everybody forgets charcoal."

Cobra: Silence. "We do not have charcoal."

Sabrina: "It's OK. I'll bring it. I've been screwing up rituals for decades and I know just what usually happens."

Lots and lots of silly laughter...
sabrinamari: (Default)
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A blank book, a pen, and a soft blanket.
sabrinamari: (Phoenix)
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How about just two?
Read more... )
sabrinamari: (Venus)
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Pretending to be who I'm not.

This is me. Like me, or don't. Love me, or don't.

I stand firm whatever you choose.

Don't like it? Get in line.

Like it? Come get some love.

Your choice.
sabrinamari: (Daily practice)
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Yesterday I wrote about the importance of mastering one's urge to strike out at people and how critical that is. I really believe this.

I also spent the day desperately wanting to bonk a wide selection of humans over the head. Badly.

WHAP!

****

But then there's this:

http://showingup.livejournal.com/100038.html

: )
sabrinamari: (Default)
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No way I could remember. I'm just so happy to have positive dreams again!

I also wish this for *everyone* around me.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Sentences added as I think of them.

For now:

1. Stronger than you imagine and making it all count.

2. Embracing the glorious, sitting with the wretched, learning from both.

3. It's sweet over here.

4. Forging a good way to spend a lifetime.

Later Edits:

5. Jesus Christ, how many more sets to go?
sabrinamari: (Default)
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I don't know. I was born with mine. Many years of serious pain and awful shit were insufficient to beat it out of me.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Today I learned that Buddhism prepares you for love with no expectations. Michael said this during a conversation we had a few minutes ago, and I realized he was right. I sort of knew this, but hadn't articulated it to myself so clearly.

Someone else once told me that you can't learn something until you almost already know it. This second observation helps me put my new knowledge into a good context.

Today I feel strong and good, happy and whole. And boy, I am SO APPRECIATIVE of it!

It's especially valuable to me because the giant invisible hand has struck again, and someone I dearly love is in tremendous pain. Fortunately, I am in a great place to offer support, kindness, my full attention, and a lot of love without any expectations.

And that is exactly what's needed.

Even better, Michael, my best ally and greatest teacher, is right beside me. Even before we spoke to each other, we'd devised the same plan to offer up our love and support. When he gets home and I've finished my work day, we'll brainstorm together about how we can best put this plan into effect and offer our help.

Damn, I am grateful for the overflowing good in my life!
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Sanity.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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I don't care about this.

Well, I did get to see Pema Chodron speak close up, and if I met her, I would care about that.

Otherwise, no.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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It's not "Three Little Ducks"!
sabrinamari: (Element Money)
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$5312.13

This year has brought me many valuable lessons, one of which has been about small business finance. Small business finance is really, really tricky, and managing a small business without debt is difficult! We've discovered that it's tremendously important to keep Michael's business accounts stocked with plenty of cash, because at least one of them requires that he be able to cover a wide range of funeral expenses before he is paid. It's also important to think well in advance about every possible business expense that might come up on an annual basis, and to plan for all items that require a significant one-time up-front expenditure.

We were wise enough to set aside tax money as he earned income, but we did not think carefully enough about the wide range of business expenses that he would encounter. Our current goal is to pay off this debt by the end of the year using the same strategies we used to pay down our personal expenses, and we are well on our way towards doing so.

I hate being in debt, but there's one thing I hate even worse than being in debt, and that's being ashamed about it. Shame is toxic, paralyzing, and usually gets in the way of problem solving---at least it does for me---and I fear it even more than the things that usually invoke it.

The best weapon I wield against shame is transparency, and thus you get to hear exactly how much I owe, down to the penny. 'Cause there ain't anything in this world that I will allow to limit my power---much less shame about money.

My favorite observation about money shame comes from Dave Ramsey:

"If you've made mistakes with money, you know what that means? You're over twelve."

I will check in again later, when this debt is paid off.
sabrinamari: (Element Money)
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Read more... )
Not sure how I would construct the long-term investment portfolio. But oh gods, I would have so much fun doing it!
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Nothing.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Go to the gym. See you!
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Experienced many as a kid and a few as an adult. Will add one to this post later.
sabrinamari: (sex)
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Yes. OK, I have a funny story I tell in one of my workshops about how I came to like goatees.

Wait, it's kind of racy. Hmmm. I will think on this, then come back and add to this post as soon as I figure out how to tell this story in an appropriate yet interesting way.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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No. It's pretty much here for whoever wants to look. But I think most people aren't that interested in reading personal blogs. It's a lot of work to keep up with a blog, and lives are busy. So I think my blog is pretty safe. Except for a few people who really care about me, most folks couldn't care less about my blog.
sabrinamari: (Default)
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Anyplace with archaeological remains that I can explore. Especially if there's better preservation than, "..a series of low walls". 'Cause if it was a historical site, it's pretty much a given that they found a series of low walls.

I'll take that, too, though, surely.

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sabrinamari

June 2012

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