Note to self

Do not do what fear tells you to do.

Be cautious, be wise, investigate, reflect, communicate, plan carefully, be creative.

But when crunch time comes, when the emergency comes, do not do what fear tells you to do.

Even when it seems crazy, even when people you love and adore counsel you to do so, do not do what fear tells you to do.

We are often like the pilot in Pitch Black, who, faced with the horror of death and loss, reaches for the handle that will eject all the living passengers behind her. If she does not eject them, she fears, she'll never get the nose of the ship up before it crashes and explodes.

"I'm not gonna die for them!" she cries out in anger and anguish. In moments of fear, the easiest thing to do is take the action that our terrified hearts whisper will save us from the bad thing, the terrifying thing, the thing we fear the most.

But it is almost never the right thing to do.

I've learned it a million times and I learned it again last Friday.

In moments of anxiety, fear and shame, do not do the thing that fear tells you to do.

Tingling

Driving home from my class, out of the blue, the strangest thing just happened. Something opened up in my head and whispered "Something sweet is coming. Something good.". And I just broke out grinning wildly, with this glorious feeling of expansion in my heart

I have no idea what it's about. I was just focusing on my class.

But this felt kind of like conjuring, only in reverse.

It felt like one of my invisible tendrils was being vibrated from the other end and I was receiving it, not sending it. It felt as though another magician was conjuring me.