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Learning to stay
Nov. 24th, 2010 10:02 amIt's not even 10:00 am and someone I love called me on my shit today. At the time I was behaving badly. Because he called me on my habitual patterns, I had the opportunity to rethink and change my response. For this, I am grateful.
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"The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes."
~Pema Chodron
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Sep. 18th, 2010 09:43 amSnuggled up in many soft blankets in the back of my van, contented and happy...I'm at Christine and O's, having a peaceful, sleepy morning while the birds and dogs serenade me.
Last night was wonderful: I listened, learned and watched while the evening unfolded. I spoke with many new people, some of whom actually already knew me---an unexpected surprise.
I sat in a small fire circle with many fine drummers, watching them closely----another new experience. Tigre was there. As he played, he also explained bits and pieces of what he was doing, mostly for the other drummers. I stayed close and listened quietly, just getting comfortable and acclimated.
Later, there were marshmallows, fire fans and even the opportunity to dance. I think there will be more of that tonight.
O took me to see his carving of Venus and invited me to stay awhile and spend some time with it. Today, I'll anoint her with dark vanilla essential oil and say my thanks for this year of transformation.
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Alive and happy
Aug. 29th, 2010 10:41 pmI had a beautiful weekend at the Fires of Venus retreat. Many fractured places were made whole, and not by any real effort of mine.
I just tried to stay open and move without judgement, and good things happened. I was able to take time here and there to be still and listen to people I rarely get to see or learn from. These were deeply rejuvenating intervals, and they were punctuated by all kinds of experiences: pleasure, anxiety, silliness (really important) and occasional risk-taking.
It was good. I'm glad I went. No clue what happens next, but that's just how I want it. These folks keep my toes, and I like it.
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Aspiration for the next two + weeks
Aug. 27th, 2010 12:49 pmI would like to limit the number of stupid and/or counterproductive things I say and do. At this moment, I don't even care what other people say or do. I just want to hold onto myself successfully and refrain from saying or doing anything really stupid.
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Change is messy
Jun. 23rd, 2010 06:50 pmToday there were so many changes that I am in a brief state of change fatigue.
They weren't bad; they were just CHANGES.
My dear friend eoma_p is exploring wonderful new paths and I will get to witness/be part of her transformation. It's wonderful, and I will probably be able to recover from the shock soon.
My co-worker move me out of my office and into his own in one day, even though we had planned to do it together over the next two days.
Got my first international article in and will get paid $1000 for it, which I will split with my mentor, who has worked on it with me quite valiantly.
My office is a collection of messy puddles on the first floor. Weird.
All kinds of stuff is happening.
Change is messy.
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Mass tension
Jun. 7th, 2010 10:28 pmI felt tense and overworked until I noticed the mass levels of tension in the people around me. Wow.
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Canopic jar earrings
May. 4th, 2010 08:26 pmTrent told me that my owl earrings looked like tiny canopic jars.
Pondering this, I now want canopic jar earrings.
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Riot brewing at DFW
Apr. 6th, 2010 09:57 pmI've been trying to get home from the Dallas-Fort Worth airport all afternoon on an American Airlines flight. Three different planes have broken down in succession.. We've planed and deplaned twice. The third plane exhibited mechanical problems before we even finished boarding.
Now it's almost 11:00 pm Eastern time, and the first flight was scheduled at 4:25 Central. People are yelling at the desk attendants, the frustrated murmurs have become loud, angry voices and it's starting to look ugly.
I am very interested in what happens next. I'm even more eager to be home with Michael and Trent.
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Apr. 4th, 2010 09:39 am"...we need not fully believe something is possible, much less have a full-blown plan in place. We just have to decide what we want and be willing to do whatever comes next."
Barbara Stanny, "Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life"
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Mar. 2nd, 2010 09:29 amThere are two places I know of to find sanity: in the fierce and powerful joy of physical activity and in sitting, moving or writing meditation.
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