Note to self
Feb. 29th, 2012 08:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariDo not claw anyone's eyes out today. Do not claw anyone's eyes out today. Do not claw anyone's eyes out today.
This is simply a stress response in reaction to new challenges; it will pass. This is not anyone's fault. Striking out will only make things worse. Do not claw, yell, strike, snap at anyone (yes, nyx, how foolish of me not to grasp, immediately, that the reversed Queen of Wands is my secondary pattern of reaction to stress).
Do not expect anyone else to change in order to help me manage my own self better.
If necessary, withdraw, withdraw, withdraw.
***USE this anger to push myself forward in solving the problems that annoy the fuck out of me!
It makes me very angry and very sad to see that so many of the choices I make, choices that I imagine to be freely exercised personal preferences, originate in unconsciously directed attempts to resolve old psychological baggage.
It's offensive to see this now. I want to think that I am better than this. I want to see myself as more powerful than this. I want to believe in my own freedom and agency.
This is simply a stress response in reaction to new challenges; it will pass. This is not anyone's fault. Striking out will only make things worse. Do not claw, yell, strike, snap at anyone (yes, nyx, how foolish of me not to grasp, immediately, that the reversed Queen of Wands is my secondary pattern of reaction to stress).
Do not expect anyone else to change in order to help me manage my own self better.
If necessary, withdraw, withdraw, withdraw.
***USE this anger to push myself forward in solving the problems that annoy the fuck out of me!
It makes me very angry and very sad to see that so many of the choices I make, choices that I imagine to be freely exercised personal preferences, originate in unconsciously directed attempts to resolve old psychological baggage.
It's offensive to see this now. I want to think that I am better than this. I want to see myself as more powerful than this. I want to believe in my own freedom and agency.
