Watching a friend

[sabrinamari]

This morning I'm feeling inspired by a friend who has really struggled in a couple of areas in his life, but has managed his troubles through great anguish and anger, and recently come to a place of real grace.

He's had many setbacks and explosions, but I've watched him move from great reactivity to gentleness and sanity with others, especially when he is afraid and defensive. That's so hard to do! It's amazingly difficult to stay gentle when you feel threatened.

He has done a good job of looking at the destructiveness that comes from speaking and acting out of fear. Wow.

Watching him, I get a sense of how much his problems have motivated him to push past his old ways of relating. It's very useful to watch someone do this, especially when it's such a struggle for them, because it reminds me that I can do the things that are hard for me as well.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Comments

[bobby1933.livejournal.com]

How marvelous!

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I think sometimes we miss how important our struggles are for the people around us. After all, we teach each other how to live in this world. I also think that often people are ashamed and upset about how hard it is for them to work through their issues. I know I've heard my friend talk about this, and I've felt it many times myself.

But I have so much more admiration for people who have to fight hard to make progress than for people who figure things out easily---and I also identify with those people much more than I do the "immediately graceful".

I wish more of us would take the risk of being public with our struggles. We would have so much more of value to offer the world if we did that. This thought that we are each alone in our recidivism, in the way we repeat the same mistakes, in our slowness to learn---it's based on a lie. And that lie is that everyone else is stronger/wiser/faster/better than us.

The thought that we are the worst of teh worst is a big frickin' lie, and believing it robs us of the opportunity to give the world something really and truly precious: an accurate account of our struggle to grow.

Thinking about this makes so angry that I just want to tell the world all my stupidist moves and worst mistakes, and say, see? I am happy anyway. I am productive anyway. And I am and have been just as fucked up as you think you are.

Will you please, please, just stand up and shine---imperfectly---so the rest of us can take heart and give our own lives another try?

End rant...

[puckmls.livejournal.com]

I will be journaling about my struggles and imperfections shortly, so you can have another example of imperfect human radiance. ;-)

being public with our struggles

[gracewillow.livejournal.com]

First of all, I think what you wrote, first in the original entry and then in your reply to bobby1933's comment, was great. Secondly, I'm writing a memoir about living with bipolar disorder and Asperger's Syndrome--doing my best to be public w/struggles! :)

[ramchild67.livejournal.com]

Beautiful.