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sabrinamariSpent big parts of today supporting a friend. I was pretty worried about him. So far, it's turned out well, thank gods. I'm glad I could do it. As I go into my weekend I'll have one eyeball firmly turned in his direction just to make sure he stays OK. The other eyeball will need to focus on Michael. Not sure how rough the Tough Mudder will be. I'm a little worried about injuries. Michael is tough, no doubt about it. He's solid, strong and very fit, physically and emotionally. He's tough and resilient, and those things will work well for him tomorrow. Mostly, I hope nothing happens to keep him off his feet, or worse, for any length of time.
Right now, it seems like most of the men (and some of the women) around me are crazy. However, they appear to recognize their own neuroses. That's helpful. It's rough working with people who are both crazy and in denial; its much easier when they're self-aware and can see some measure of their neurosis. As long as Michael can see that he's a little nuts to do this, especially now, we can work together towards positive outcomes. As long as he doesn't break anything.
Please, let him not break anything!
Even if he does break something, we'll manage, but how would I help him with his business while doing my own work, coaching multiple clients and following up diverse book opportunities? And then there's housework. Yeah, I don't know. Please Universe, let the men in my life remain only moderately crazy. Thank you.
Right now, it seems like most of the men (and some of the women) around me are crazy. However, they appear to recognize their own neuroses. That's helpful. It's rough working with people who are both crazy and in denial; its much easier when they're self-aware and can see some measure of their neurosis. As long as Michael can see that he's a little nuts to do this, especially now, we can work together towards positive outcomes. As long as he doesn't break anything.
Please, let him not break anything!
Even if he does break something, we'll manage, but how would I help him with his business while doing my own work, coaching multiple clients and following up diverse book opportunities? And then there's housework. Yeah, I don't know. Please Universe, let the men in my life remain only moderately crazy. Thank you.
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Date: 2011-11-12 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-12 04:25 am (UTC)Element Money
Life coaching
thus far...
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Date: 2011-11-12 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 04:44 pm (UTC)I haven't taken any trainings. I fell into it by doing it myself. My dissertation clients have each called me in desperation, some months away from a hard deadline, with no other resources, little support and rough sailing.
In each case, I stepped in cautiously (duh!) and offered a combination of modeling ("This is what my diss looked like; this is what my book looks like; this is how to build a model, this is how to use each chapter to prove one piece of that model; this is how to write a methods chapter"), life coaching ("OK, the first thing we need to do is assemble your support team. This is how we're going to do it"), strategizing ('This is what your committee actually expects. Here are the top six strategies for managing them"), accountability management ("Looking at the calendar, you'll need to revise this chapter in X weeks, which means you need to do blah, blah, blah by this Friday, and I will text you on Friday if it's not in my email ready for me to read by 6 pm") and editing ("You did a great job of describing this, but you haven't laid out your model in a way that an unfamiliar reader can easily grasp. Now, tell me about your model. I'm going to tape you, then send you the link to the recording. You're going to listen to it, and use the recording to help you write out the whole model out as clearly and cogently as you've described it"). Finally, I did a lot of encouraging and inspiring: "This is not the worst thing you have ever had to do. Living through your first marriage was much harder, so you've already demonstrated that you can do things that are much, much harder than this.")
Dissertation coaching led to life coaching. I also fell into Element Money coaching the same way (Friend/acquaintance:"Sabrina, I'm going to start working with you on Element money." Me: 'Uh, OK. You need to start by doing X, Y and Z. Once you've done this, we can talk. I won't work with you unless you can show me that you are willing.").
Coaching for book writing is also evolving. I got on the phone with another coach who wants to write a book and worked her through the first few steps of her first assignment in 20 minutes. Again, I only put people through what I have done myself.
So that's my approach.
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Date: 2011-11-13 04:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-12 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 04:08 am (UTC)It looks gruelling. Good luck to him. And wishing for balance and centered self-awareness for you and those around you.
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Date: 2011-11-13 04:46 pm (UTC)