Writer's Block: Everybody hurts
Aug. 29th, 2011 08:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamari[Error: unknown template qotd]
Lots. I was just an awkward kid. But you know, it really encouraged me to develop resilience and tremendous inner resources. I never learned how to grow a thick skin so I still feel everything, but I am very, very good at getting back up after I fall down.
On the whole, I have to say that being bullied was useful. It produced a resilient, adaptive human being with plenty to offer.
****
This sounded preachy, so I put it behind a cut.
EDIT - Additional thought: I've learned some important things from being bullied and pushed around:
1. Anger can be a helpful tool in getting you past pain and strengthening your resolve. After that, it becomes a burden, holding you back from joy and delight. So...when in pain, embrace anger, use it in the best possible way, and then, when you've accomplished your goals, let it gooooooo.
2. Do not help *anyone* hurt you, damage you or shame you. DO NOT HELP ANYONE KEEP YOU DOWN. Fight them, fight them, fight them! Most importantly, refuse to do to yourself what they are doing to you.
If the emotional abuse is ongoing or you are very sensitive, this will be difficult. When you slip, see Rule #1. Do not cave to the oppressive agendas of others, because you are better than that!
At the same, time, try not to immediately reject constructive criticism and difficult, honest feedback from others. Sometimes that hurts, too. One difference between them: shaming is done with intent to harm or put down. It is the antithesis of compassion. Difficult feedback is intended to help you gain insight about the damage you may be doing to yourself and/or others. It may be hard to hear, but it is delivered with respect and a sense of compassion.
3. Enjoy your life. Otherwise, the abusers win. [Hopefully, this idea pisses you off. See Rule #1.]
4. The advanced course of bullying teaches you to find compassion for your oppressors. See Buddhist thought for useful material about this.
Feel free to add your own.
Lots. I was just an awkward kid. But you know, it really encouraged me to develop resilience and tremendous inner resources. I never learned how to grow a thick skin so I still feel everything, but I am very, very good at getting back up after I fall down.
On the whole, I have to say that being bullied was useful. It produced a resilient, adaptive human being with plenty to offer.
****
This sounded preachy, so I put it behind a cut.
EDIT - Additional thought: I've learned some important things from being bullied and pushed around:
1. Anger can be a helpful tool in getting you past pain and strengthening your resolve. After that, it becomes a burden, holding you back from joy and delight. So...when in pain, embrace anger, use it in the best possible way, and then, when you've accomplished your goals, let it gooooooo.
2. Do not help *anyone* hurt you, damage you or shame you. DO NOT HELP ANYONE KEEP YOU DOWN. Fight them, fight them, fight them! Most importantly, refuse to do to yourself what they are doing to you.
If the emotional abuse is ongoing or you are very sensitive, this will be difficult. When you slip, see Rule #1. Do not cave to the oppressive agendas of others, because you are better than that!
At the same, time, try not to immediately reject constructive criticism and difficult, honest feedback from others. Sometimes that hurts, too. One difference between them: shaming is done with intent to harm or put down. It is the antithesis of compassion. Difficult feedback is intended to help you gain insight about the damage you may be doing to yourself and/or others. It may be hard to hear, but it is delivered with respect and a sense of compassion.
3. Enjoy your life. Otherwise, the abusers win. [Hopefully, this idea pisses you off. See Rule #1.]
4. The advanced course of bullying teaches you to find compassion for your oppressors. See Buddhist thought for useful material about this.
Feel free to add your own.
