(no subject)

[sabrinamari]

"Most of your suffering comes from the lack of understanding of yourself and others."
 
  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Comments

[showingup.livejournal.com]

Yes.

I've been avoiding letting my mother help me out with housework largely because of her tendency to take over, which leads to me feeling powerless and upset. She steamrollered me today by announcing that she was going to come round and help with the housework. She had very definite ideas, and we were beginning to fall into the mother-teenager dynamic when I suddenly realised 2 things:

1. She really needs to feel needed.
2. The more "help" she gives, the less need she will have to hold on so tightly to control.

So I diverted her from stuff I didn't want her touching by asking her to take me for several errands, which she did. I got help, she got to feel helpful, and when she decided that it was important to futz around with something I didn't want help with, I didn't much care.

I was able to feel gratitude rather than anger, and she was able to feel needed.

And all it took was that moment.