Opening up to (weird) positive changes
May. 29th, 2011 09:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariIt's morning, and only a few of us are awake. That's a good time for thinking and exercise. Often there's not enough time to do both. I have to work this out, because I almost always have the urge to do both, and I end up either picking one while missing the other, or having to settle for a shortened workout.
Yesterday felt pretty good. I've spent so many years hanging around with Peggy, Ed, Rose, Audrey and Ben and their many animals and plants that it always feels like home. Just what I needed this weekend...and this evening is Peggy's Dedication, which will add an interesting new inflection to things.
When Peggy decided to stay with us at FSG, I thought that was great. When she bought a drum, I thought that was a little strange. When she decided to explore Paganism, I was really, really surprised, and when she got involved in Blue Star, it was just *really* surreal.
The part of my life that included her and the part that lived in the tribe had been very separate, and the coming together of these things seemed almost incomprehensible. As long as I can remember (OK, just the last couple of decades), we've hung around and talked about her church activities and involvement, her childhood in ultra-conservative rural OK, and things that are decidedly not Pagan. Somehow, I managed to miss the implications of the continually flowering forest she raised around her and the utter acceptance, even peace, she projected around all my ministry and Craft stuff.
I'm still adjusting. Yesterday we went into Michael's to buy some gold wool yarn for her Dedication cord. I explained that gold embroidery floss, while not wool (the traditional choice), would do just fine. "Let's look and see if they have wool," she suggested. And sure enough, she found a gorgeous wool option. "Great," I said. "But wait!" she exclaimed seriously, peering at it very closely---"it's a wool blend."
It was just another of those surreal moments for me. I sighed deeply, put my hand on her heart and said, "OK, Peggy, take a deep breath," and we both started laughing. I am not the most conservative Blue Star Priestess around (OK, B* tribesmen, stop laughing). Really, if something doesn't clearly say to me,"This decision impacts your development and growth as a human being," I'm likely to say, "Well, this is how it's usually done, but hey, as long as you know that, feel free to adapt to your particular circumstances as needed."
Listening to Peggy voice a more conservative B* position was just strange.
And she bought colored glitter just to throw me off further. "You did that just to freak me out!" I exclaimed as she grabbed the multi-colored packets. ""Yes, I did," she said, smiling smugly.
It was kind of fun. I'm just going to have to expand my understanding of who Peggy is and grow as a human being.
But it all seems to be coming along well. The Dedication will be beautiful---it is a powerful and lovely ritual; a good gift to offer my beautiful friend. Of course, she earned it with typical Type-A fervor. Already, she is much of the way through the Neophyte classes. That's just weird.
Growth seems to be happening in other areas as well. We stopped at a Craft store in Laurel yesterday and I found a systrum that felt good in my hands. It had an image of Bast as a handle, and it made a great sound when I shook it. For a moment, I actually considered buying it. Pretty weird, for me. And at the fire circle in Peggy's backyard (yes, she built an actual fire circle---of good size and everything) I played a drum for a little while. Just some taps here and there, but nobody died, and after a while, it even sounded pretty good. Things are shifting and growing in a good way all around me.
Yesterday felt pretty good. I've spent so many years hanging around with Peggy, Ed, Rose, Audrey and Ben and their many animals and plants that it always feels like home. Just what I needed this weekend...and this evening is Peggy's Dedication, which will add an interesting new inflection to things.
When Peggy decided to stay with us at FSG, I thought that was great. When she bought a drum, I thought that was a little strange. When she decided to explore Paganism, I was really, really surprised, and when she got involved in Blue Star, it was just *really* surreal.
The part of my life that included her and the part that lived in the tribe had been very separate, and the coming together of these things seemed almost incomprehensible. As long as I can remember (OK, just the last couple of decades), we've hung around and talked about her church activities and involvement, her childhood in ultra-conservative rural OK, and things that are decidedly not Pagan. Somehow, I managed to miss the implications of the continually flowering forest she raised around her and the utter acceptance, even peace, she projected around all my ministry and Craft stuff.
I'm still adjusting. Yesterday we went into Michael's to buy some gold wool yarn for her Dedication cord. I explained that gold embroidery floss, while not wool (the traditional choice), would do just fine. "Let's look and see if they have wool," she suggested. And sure enough, she found a gorgeous wool option. "Great," I said. "But wait!" she exclaimed seriously, peering at it very closely---"it's a wool blend."
It was just another of those surreal moments for me. I sighed deeply, put my hand on her heart and said, "OK, Peggy, take a deep breath," and we both started laughing. I am not the most conservative Blue Star Priestess around (OK, B* tribesmen, stop laughing). Really, if something doesn't clearly say to me,"This decision impacts your development and growth as a human being," I'm likely to say, "Well, this is how it's usually done, but hey, as long as you know that, feel free to adapt to your particular circumstances as needed."
Listening to Peggy voice a more conservative B* position was just strange.
And she bought colored glitter just to throw me off further. "You did that just to freak me out!" I exclaimed as she grabbed the multi-colored packets. ""Yes, I did," she said, smiling smugly.
It was kind of fun. I'm just going to have to expand my understanding of who Peggy is and grow as a human being.
But it all seems to be coming along well. The Dedication will be beautiful---it is a powerful and lovely ritual; a good gift to offer my beautiful friend. Of course, she earned it with typical Type-A fervor. Already, she is much of the way through the Neophyte classes. That's just weird.
Growth seems to be happening in other areas as well. We stopped at a Craft store in Laurel yesterday and I found a systrum that felt good in my hands. It had an image of Bast as a handle, and it made a great sound when I shook it. For a moment, I actually considered buying it. Pretty weird, for me. And at the fire circle in Peggy's backyard (yes, she built an actual fire circle---of good size and everything) I played a drum for a little while. Just some taps here and there, but nobody died, and after a while, it even sounded pretty good. Things are shifting and growing in a good way all around me.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 01:26 pm (UTC)Because you know my particular training, and that to some of us it would, in fact, matter.
But, I'm a Conservative Uptight Traditionalist of a Blue Star Witch (*koffs*)
I'm sad to miss this Dedication.
Please share her Name with us on a filter, so that we can welcome her Home properly.
This is all WONDERFUL news!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-31 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 02:10 pm (UTC)The next time you're lounging around the Dirt Road with nothing much to do, ask for a drum lesson. You will be transformed.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 02:17 pm (UTC)'Brina, try pretending that your hands are feet, dancing on top of the drum. Forget about "playing correctly," and just let them dance. See what happens.
You can learn good form later.
no subject
Date: 2011-05-30 12:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-30 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-30 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 03:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-30 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-29 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-30 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-31 04:46 am (UTC):-) Looking forward to it!