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sabrinamari"A pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of...others and the egotistic...pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition.
An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts.
*Five* (or more) of the following criteria must be met:
1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion
3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation -or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).
5. Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations
6. Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others
8. Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
9. Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted."
Taken from Mental Help Net, http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php/type/doc/id/419
I have noticed that it is hard for me to recognize the above characteristics, as strange as it may seem. This is particularly true when they exist in a moderate, or less than extreme, form. I also think that intelligent narcissists (whom I tend to gravitate towards) are pretty good at playing down the more extreme elements of their personalities.
I've also noticed that the narcissists from my own present and past have tended to be very controlling individuals, often tending towards verbal and emotional abuse when their needs are not met in the relationship. Many of the narcissists I've been involved with have had strong perfectionist and compulsive tendencies, also like my mother.
An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts.
*Five* (or more) of the following criteria must be met:
1. Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion
3. Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation -or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).
5. Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations
6. Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
7. Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others
8. Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
9. Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted."
Taken from Mental Help Net, http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php/type/doc/id/419
I have noticed that it is hard for me to recognize the above characteristics, as strange as it may seem. This is particularly true when they exist in a moderate, or less than extreme, form. I also think that intelligent narcissists (whom I tend to gravitate towards) are pretty good at playing down the more extreme elements of their personalities.
I've also noticed that the narcissists from my own present and past have tended to be very controlling individuals, often tending towards verbal and emotional abuse when their needs are not met in the relationship. Many of the narcissists I've been involved with have had strong perfectionist and compulsive tendencies, also like my mother.
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Gee - that's a description of just about any high level, corporate executive
Date: 2005-01-13 07:17 pm (UTC)Re: Gee - that's a description of just about any high level, corporate executive
Date: 2005-01-13 07:22 pm (UTC)Damn.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-13 07:33 pm (UTC)Narcissists are either "Cerebral" (derive their narcissistic supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) - or "Somatic" (derive their narcissistic supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and "conquests").
I think Ken bridged the gap between them.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-13 08:12 pm (UTC)And he was really upset about these issues, in the abstract, to an extreme degree that just seemed---wierd.
I have to read this website much more thoroughly.
I can name that name that tune in one note
Date: 2005-01-13 09:55 pm (UTC)Thank you Goddess for finally landing me with a man who doesn't suffer from THAT. (and he's no dummy, either.)
Re: I can name that name that tune in one note
Date: 2005-01-14 12:53 am (UTC)Re: I can name that name that tune in one note
Date: 2005-01-14 12:54 am (UTC)How about Toad instead of Tit?
Date: 2005-01-14 02:19 am (UTC):)
Re: How about Toad instead of Tit?
Date: 2005-01-14 03:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-13 09:26 pm (UTC)This pattern of dysfunction is so deep and so all-encompassing that there is simply nothing that I could have done to deal with it more effectively over the years---other than perhaps doing this kind of research long ago---and then acting to withdraw once I understood the scope of what i was facing. dear gods. wow. the power of (missing)information...
I feel as though I am slowly re-assembling a long-time, confusing, deeply mysterious puzzle after years and years of wandering through it without any real grasp of what I was seeing...I feel as though I've been in a maze for decade plus, without any way of interpreting the clues so that i could find my way out.
At least the mystery is starting to make sense.
I can re-evaluate my past experiences in light of this new information.