Traveling with a friend
Feb. 27th, 2011 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariI spent the whole day with D., and it's been wonderful. It's such a treat to spend a whole day with just one person---when I really care about that person. I love not having to divide my attention or shift my focus to anything/anyone else. It almost feels restful, like a rejuvination, when I am able do this.
We last saw each other at a conference, I think in New Orleans, 9-10 years ago. Since then we've been in touch on and off via email or Facebook, but it's been brief and minimal. I wondered what it would feel like to see each other again after so long. Would we still be friends? Would I even recognize her?
But...it's amazing how easily we fell back into the pattern of just relaxing into each other's presence, talking to each other and listening. With some people, it just feels good, and once I settle down and remember what it's like to be around them, it all comes flooding back. A decade ago, D. and I built a friendship around our mutual interest in medical anthropology and our desire to do good in the world, and those passions are still there.
She's grappling with two really big decisions, and has only a few days to make them. On one hand, she can choose to take a big risk and follow her heart's desire, and on the other, she can choose a safer path that keeps her away from what she most loves.
In return for the gift of our renewed friendship, I can offer some guidance via the cards, and this is what I've done. After a morning wandering through Sidney's alternative community, we arrived at our beach hotel, had a coffee, sat in a cafe, and then came back to the room to do some serious reading. It took several hours, and then we called a hiatus and walked to Cogee Beach, where we played in the water and lay in the sun.
Serious talks were punctuated by laughter and people-watching until we both got hungry and walked back to the sushi place we had passed earlier.
Here we discovered a kind of conveyer belt of sushi: individual rolls and delicious delights came gliding by as we sat at a sort of circular bar. Each plate was color coded to show the price of the treat, and we delighted ourselves by pulling them off one by one and gobbling them down. I was much amused!
Afterwards, we walked back and strolled along the shore, traveling from one beach to another until it got darker and we decided to call it quits. A short taxi ride later, we were back, and now she's outside taking notes while I pour out my thoughts here, saving them for later.
What I've learned: I really prefer to travel with someone else if I can. I like the pleasure of enjoying one person at a time. I love being able to take private time with Michael and also with Stephanie, but otherwise, it's an unusual treat for me.
I'm also appreciating how much I enjoy touch: massage, petting and the general calming presence of another solid human being is deeply valuable to me. I really like grounded, solid people who know who they are and what they want. It's no surprise that D. falls right into this category: she's got plenty of metal and earth, and she's direct and clear when she speaks. I love it.
Even after all these years, I appreciate the way she moves through the world, and the way she brings grounding and empathy to everything she sees. More than anything, I appreciate the way she grounds me without even trying, and her willingness to share her worldview and her ways of seeing the people and places around her. I also love her kindness and the appreciation of me that I see in her eyes.
I'll miss her company when I get on the plane to Uluru tomorrow morning.
When she gets back, we'll do another round of reading. I want to do whatever I can to support her in making her decisions and figuring out what's best for her.
****
Oh---I saw the terracotta warriors by myself yesterday morning. They were glorious, as were the many gold, bronze and jade objects displayed with them. I saw an incredibly detailed, realistic goose leg candlestick---amazing and whimsical at the same time. Maybe I'll write more about the exhibit later.
We last saw each other at a conference, I think in New Orleans, 9-10 years ago. Since then we've been in touch on and off via email or Facebook, but it's been brief and minimal. I wondered what it would feel like to see each other again after so long. Would we still be friends? Would I even recognize her?
But...it's amazing how easily we fell back into the pattern of just relaxing into each other's presence, talking to each other and listening. With some people, it just feels good, and once I settle down and remember what it's like to be around them, it all comes flooding back. A decade ago, D. and I built a friendship around our mutual interest in medical anthropology and our desire to do good in the world, and those passions are still there.
She's grappling with two really big decisions, and has only a few days to make them. On one hand, she can choose to take a big risk and follow her heart's desire, and on the other, she can choose a safer path that keeps her away from what she most loves.
In return for the gift of our renewed friendship, I can offer some guidance via the cards, and this is what I've done. After a morning wandering through Sidney's alternative community, we arrived at our beach hotel, had a coffee, sat in a cafe, and then came back to the room to do some serious reading. It took several hours, and then we called a hiatus and walked to Cogee Beach, where we played in the water and lay in the sun.
Serious talks were punctuated by laughter and people-watching until we both got hungry and walked back to the sushi place we had passed earlier.
Here we discovered a kind of conveyer belt of sushi: individual rolls and delicious delights came gliding by as we sat at a sort of circular bar. Each plate was color coded to show the price of the treat, and we delighted ourselves by pulling them off one by one and gobbling them down. I was much amused!
Afterwards, we walked back and strolled along the shore, traveling from one beach to another until it got darker and we decided to call it quits. A short taxi ride later, we were back, and now she's outside taking notes while I pour out my thoughts here, saving them for later.
What I've learned: I really prefer to travel with someone else if I can. I like the pleasure of enjoying one person at a time. I love being able to take private time with Michael and also with Stephanie, but otherwise, it's an unusual treat for me.
I'm also appreciating how much I enjoy touch: massage, petting and the general calming presence of another solid human being is deeply valuable to me. I really like grounded, solid people who know who they are and what they want. It's no surprise that D. falls right into this category: she's got plenty of metal and earth, and she's direct and clear when she speaks. I love it.
Even after all these years, I appreciate the way she moves through the world, and the way she brings grounding and empathy to everything she sees. More than anything, I appreciate the way she grounds me without even trying, and her willingness to share her worldview and her ways of seeing the people and places around her. I also love her kindness and the appreciation of me that I see in her eyes.
I'll miss her company when I get on the plane to Uluru tomorrow morning.
When she gets back, we'll do another round of reading. I want to do whatever I can to support her in making her decisions and figuring out what's best for her.
****
Oh---I saw the terracotta warriors by myself yesterday morning. They were glorious, as were the many gold, bronze and jade objects displayed with them. I saw an incredibly detailed, realistic goose leg candlestick---amazing and whimsical at the same time. Maybe I'll write more about the exhibit later.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-02-27 02:47 pm (UTC)I'm grateful you're finding the time to blog and share your experiences while you're out there. I hope the trip continues to be amazing!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-27 04:08 pm (UTC)