Resilience

[sabrinamari]

A lot of my thinking and feeling centers on the development of resilience under difficult conditions.

At work, I look for ways to help primary care practices survive a health care environment that threatens their ability to survive.

In my book, I look at resilience and agency among some of the most disadvantaged women I've ever met.

In my life, I've always been fascinated by people who fall down three times and get up four.

Things I've learned about resilience:

It doesn't look like most of our culture thinks it does.

It's not about being hard, thick-skinned or tough.
It has almost nothing to do with one's ability to stuff down pain.
It is not enhanced by pretending that everything is OK in the midst of a crisis.
It is unrelated to the ability to hold back tears.
It doesn't even matter whether or not you fall apart, initially, under stressful conditions.

Resilience is all about flexibility and bending in the face of the storm.
You can be extraordinarily thin-skinned and sensitive, and still be resilient: resilience means being willing to experience and work through pain rather than avoiding it.
Resilience is built on the willingness to look at hard truths.
It is actively diminished by pride and greatly enhanced by the rejection of shame.
Humor and the ability to poke fun at yourself will always help you become more resilient.
You can be resilient before, during and after you fall apart, as long as you get up one time more than you fall.

Resilience can be learned.

Really bad experiences can help create it, and for this reason, if for no other, trauma can be forged into something valuable.

Comments

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

yes, this. big big love.

Wow

[otterdancing.livejournal.com]

Just yesterday someone asked me what "my word" was in reference to a theme in the movie and book Eat Pray Love. I said it was resilience. And you describe perfectly what it looks like to me. And feels like. This is beautiful and should be incorporated into many of your workshops. I am proud of the fact (and humbled) by the fact that I have indeed had to learn it.

Re: Wow

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

love you, Robin

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

I wish more people understood this....

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

I also just had a really big DUH moment - was trying to figure out where the heck I knew you from, and finally realized via your tag list that you were at FSG beltane and FoV.....I do eventually catch up with everybody else, really..... ;)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Yes, I attended both events.

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

You probably saw my sweetie running about, as he's kinda hard to miss. Handsome long haired blond man wearing leg braces and using crutches. And most likely naked. :)
We missed FoV this year, but attended Primal Arts instead. Already planning for next year's Beltane - will be #4 for us. :)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Yes, I did see him, now that I think of it. What do you look like?

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

Short red head with blue eyes, usually not far from my sweetie. I think the 2009 beltane is the year I was vending (Freya's Fire), then decided this year I wanted to enjoy the event instead of being cooped up in a booth. I had really bright red hair this year, for Cystic Fibrosis month. I don't have the disease, but was working on some charity drives for it. :)

[zammis.livejournal.com]

as a side note: what resources are available for primary care practices in this environment? I'm looking for what I can borrow for my own practice.

Also- the above echoes some of what I have been thinking and feeling lately as I make this big exciting! scary OMG! step forward. :)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Let's set aside some time to talk about this on the phone, zammis. Is that possible for you?

[shakti-lemaris.livejournal.com]

"Things I've learned about resilience:"

I love this. May I share it?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. I'd be honored.

[windofvenus.livejournal.com]

I really needed to see this right now...maybe this is the reason I logged on here for the first time in months. Thank you.