FoV: Experiencing peace
Sep. 27th, 2010 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariI'm going to make short posts about some of the most important things I experienced at FoV this year. I'll start with the most important.
During the early part of the festival, I was feeling incredibly tense. Managing this tension was a struggle, and I tried to do it by spending time alone. The worst of it hit on Friday night, after a ritual that was particularly rough.
The next morning I felt awful. I was just gritting my teeth to get through the day. There was a big lunch meeting with plenty to discuss, and the group's conversation eased things up a little. Later in the meeting, I found myself sitting next to one particular priest as my tension levels went up and up and up. Usually, I manage this kind of stress by asking for a back rub or snuggling into a friend, so finally I turned to him and said something like, "I'm just going to touch you/rub your head because that helps me relax." He shrugged his shoulders and nodded, and the minute I laid my hands on his head things started to ease inside of me.
A moment or so later, he turned to me and said, "This is what a calm person feels like."
I was utterly stunned that he had recognized exactly what I needed: a calm person to help me bring my heart rate down and lower my anxiety. And that's just what happened. Over the course of the next 30 or 40 minutes, I was able to relax more and more deeply, and just experience what I was feeling without panic or stress. Whenever I pulled my hand away, it was OK, and whenever I put it back, he snuggled back into me so I knew that it wasn't a problem to keep it there.
The whole feeling I got from him was one of strength, calm and experience. What was best: when my internal tension died down, I could feel what it was like to have an open, humming second chakra and open, humming heart chakra and it felt incredible. It was as though the white noise in my head and body just gradually dimmed down lower and lower, allowing me to feel what it was like to be fully open, vibrating and at peace for the first time in weeks. I loved it.
Later, I thanked him, and when I went on with my day, it was in a completely different frame of mind: open, calm and happy. And though there were bumps here and there along the way, this experience shifted the rest of the festival for me in a wonderful way.
I also noticed that this priest had plenty of wisdom to share: he ran a calming, insightful meditation later in the festival, and whenever he opened his mouth, it seemed as though his insights were especially useful for me. I will be listening to him carefully in the future. He commands my admiration and respect.
During the early part of the festival, I was feeling incredibly tense. Managing this tension was a struggle, and I tried to do it by spending time alone. The worst of it hit on Friday night, after a ritual that was particularly rough.
The next morning I felt awful. I was just gritting my teeth to get through the day. There was a big lunch meeting with plenty to discuss, and the group's conversation eased things up a little. Later in the meeting, I found myself sitting next to one particular priest as my tension levels went up and up and up. Usually, I manage this kind of stress by asking for a back rub or snuggling into a friend, so finally I turned to him and said something like, "I'm just going to touch you/rub your head because that helps me relax." He shrugged his shoulders and nodded, and the minute I laid my hands on his head things started to ease inside of me.
A moment or so later, he turned to me and said, "This is what a calm person feels like."
I was utterly stunned that he had recognized exactly what I needed: a calm person to help me bring my heart rate down and lower my anxiety. And that's just what happened. Over the course of the next 30 or 40 minutes, I was able to relax more and more deeply, and just experience what I was feeling without panic or stress. Whenever I pulled my hand away, it was OK, and whenever I put it back, he snuggled back into me so I knew that it wasn't a problem to keep it there.
The whole feeling I got from him was one of strength, calm and experience. What was best: when my internal tension died down, I could feel what it was like to have an open, humming second chakra and open, humming heart chakra and it felt incredible. It was as though the white noise in my head and body just gradually dimmed down lower and lower, allowing me to feel what it was like to be fully open, vibrating and at peace for the first time in weeks. I loved it.
Later, I thanked him, and when I went on with my day, it was in a completely different frame of mind: open, calm and happy. And though there were bumps here and there along the way, this experience shifted the rest of the festival for me in a wonderful way.
I also noticed that this priest had plenty of wisdom to share: he ran a calming, insightful meditation later in the festival, and whenever he opened his mouth, it seemed as though his insights were especially useful for me. I will be listening to him carefully in the future. He commands my admiration and respect.
