Sleep isn't easy

[sabrinamari]

If my buzzing brain, opening heart and awakening second chakra could quiet down for a bit and allow me to sleep, I would be very grateful.

Comments

[showingup.livejournal.com]

Would being compassionate towards them and explaining that you understand they're excited, and that you can all be more excited together if you get some sleep help?

I'm getting into this Talking To Parts thing.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I'm willing to try anything at this point.

I've spent the whole year asking to become a better channel for love, and I'm getting what I asked for. Did I think through this request when I made it? No. Did I really understand what this could mean? No. Do I feel even vaguely prepared? No.

Am I going to stop? No.

But if there could be a volume switch or something, that would really help. I want to hit pause and come back to this later, when I feel better equipped---which is what I always do.

I will probably never feel better equipped, and I should just accept this and go ahead.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

OK, I'm getting told that the problem is that I'm resisting it. If I would stop fighting, everything would become easier.

If I would stop trying to turn away, I would adjust to the greater capacity for love, desire and feeling that I've been asking for, and it would be a good thing and not a huge pain in the butt.

Que sorpresa.

[showingup.livejournal.com]

MADRE DE DIOS!

Makes sense. Doesn't make it EASY, on the other hand,though it might be easier if you keep talking to your parts.

Havi Brooks writes about talking to her Other Selves, Parts and Monsters a LOT. I've really just been dipping my toe in, and it is really helpful to think in those terms. This is something I am gathering strength to do on a regular basis, continuing my dialogue with First Primary School Me and Confused Adolescent Me, and beginning one with My Root Chakra as a start to talking to all 7 of them.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

This sounds like an excellent strategy, K. I'd love to hear more about it as you give it a go. I'll steal any technique you recommend.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I resolved it like this: instead of trying to overpower it physically, I decided to explore it. I climbed in the tub and mentally walked through each scary scenario, asking, "If this happens, could I handle it?"

I did it with feeling as well as with thinking, and each time, the answer was," Yeah, you could handle this." Within twenty minutes, I was asleep.

I got in enough sleep to function today, since I didn't have to come in early. I'll stay late anyway, so it's not a problem.

Actually, I stumbled on some big insights this morning as I was texting Kelly, and today, I feel as though I really can handle this.

I also figured out that part of the problem is that my solar plexus is also opening up, enabling a deep connection between the second chakra and the heart chakra. While this is not a bad thing----it's a good thing, all Venus-approved---it will make me a little unsteady for awhile. But it's OK. I can deal.

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

That's exactly what She said of you, the first time you drew Her, remember? "She's going to fight me the whole way." >:-)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I had completely forgotten this. Wow, you're right.

[ramchild67.livejournal.com]

Geez, I wish I was there to "help". Hehehe

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I will call you today, love.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Part of my regular before-bed "psychic hygiene" ritual involves putting aside that which would not otherwise let me sleep... YMMV...

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Evcelt, normally, this would make great sense, but last night wasn't really about setting aside stress.

It was about "leveling up" and adjusting to the new, stronger current as well as tolerating several new energetic pathways.

Imagine putting in a cable that can run energy faster and more efficiently than the old cable, and then, on top of that, laying new lengths of it that weren't there before.

The new buzz affects every part of the person, and if you think about it in terms of streams of water rushing through bigger sections of pipe, you'll also see that there's potential for old masses of crud to get knocked off as the water rushes in with multiplied force.

Last night was a struggle both in adapting to the new current/newly laid pathways and in managing the pain of old, dislodged crud.

The immediate experience was painful and difficult, but the long-term effects will be good.

I needed everything I experienced last night in order to move through the process completely. I think I'll need to learn new skills to manage the normal side-effects of the process (pain, grief, worry, etc.)

My goal is to stay open and learn to tolerate stronger and stronger levels of current.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

::nods::

All right, that makes sense.

My goal is to stay open and learn to tolerate stronger and stronger levels of current.

So does that. The Middle Pillar rather than the LBRP, sort of. (sorry, my early interest in WMO crops up all the time... ;-)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

No problem---I love translating theoretical concepts/experiential description across paradigms. It's fun.

You're speaking Golden Dawn-style ceremonial magic, correct? I've run across the LBRP before, but only superficially.

And the Middle Pillar is a Qabbala reference, right?

That's as far as I can go with this analogy, but it's a start. What's WMO?

My goal, really, is to experience more joy and less ick. Because after a couple of decades or so, constraints and limitations become *unbelievable tedious*.

The energy shifts I'm experiencing are both pathways to get where I'm going and side effects of my experiments in opening.

It's really cool to watch what happens after each choice I select and each connection I make. I'm learning as much about the process of change as I am about the old patterns I'm ejecting.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Yes, GD-style... it was the first thing I was exposed to. The LBRP is a valuable part of my "toolkit"- I've used its format to create my own personal warding ritual, plus it works in and of itself (even if you don't buy into the GD worldview...).

It also makes for impressive but harmless ritual in LARPs. ;-)

The Middle Pillar is something I'm less familiar with (aside from the concept), but it is also GD (but based on the Qabbala, yes). As originally conceived, it's their way of calling up energy for use in healing, promoting visions, etc. It's also supposed to make the energy channels more robust. I don't actually use it; I was just speaking metaphorically.

WMO = "Western Mainstream Occultism". I think Isaac Bonewits (peace be unto him) coined the phrase.

I hope that your unfolding and blossoming continues to be wonderful for you.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Thank you.