Release

[sabrinamari]

Sleeping has been great the last two nights.

The night before last, I had a long. elaborate dream in which an 11-year-old conflict was resolved. Just like that, resolved.

It probably won't happen anytime soon in real life, and if it happens at all, it will occur very differently. But I woke up deeply happy, refreshed and surprised at how powerfully the dream resolution affected me. I think this may be an example of how it is possible to resolve an issue internally, alone, even if the other person(s) don't participate. I've read/heard about this, but I haven't experienced it. I also didn't know how strongly I felt about the unresolved issue until I woke up feeling---healed.

Last night I dreamt that a much smaller issue had resolved, allowing me to do something that I could never do before. Again, it won't happen---not that way. But I felt as though it did. I woke up feeling like I could do anything, like I was free.

I don't know why, I don't know why now---but thank you, "Powers That Be".

Comments

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

:D

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

How wonderful! Hypnotherapy can achieve internal healing, as well. Although sometimes resolution does not appear immediately: you can be in the middle of other activities (weeks later) and suddenly realize, "it's gone!"

[mscindyn.livejournal.com]

I have had success at leaving past in the past, although not sure full resolution has occurred.

It has become more of a matter of "no longer worth my time or energy" than "resolved".

Perhaps it's presumptious of me to think you might be talking about me?

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I popped in based on a hint someone dropped. Perhaps the hint was meant for someone else?

I'm not angry anymore. I haven't been for a long time. The things I was angry about don't matter anymore. I see how my sorrow and rage trapped me in my own point of view. Everything was black and white. I was unable to see any other side of my story. I was a motherless, rudderless child. I was loss and pain. I wasn't able to forgive or forget.

I'm not that person anymore. I don't need the things I needed then. Everything has changed.

Like a child pulling it's hand out of a fire, I was afraid of you long after the pain went away. I'm not afraid anymore anymore. I doubt you're still the person I was afraid of. But I had to kill you out of my life for a long, long time to get to this place. You, of all people, should know that.

The hatchet is buried, if it's me you mean. If not, then you go on with your wonderful life and I'll go on with mine.

Re: Perhaps it's presumptious of me to think you might be talking about me?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Now I truly am amazed.

Yes, the dream was about you. It was a good dream, and it made really happy. You were happy and at peace, in that dream, and so was I.

I'm even happier that you took the risk of posting to me. Thank you.

You said,

"I'm not angry anymore. I haven't been for a long time. The things I was angry about don't matter anymore. I see how my sorrow and rage trapped me in my own point of view. Everything was black and white. I was unable to see any other side of my story. I was a motherless, rudderless child. I was loss and pain. I wasn't able to forgive or forget.

I'm not that person anymore. I don't need the things I needed then. Everything has changed."

I cannot tell you how much your words means to me, so I won't even try. But I cannot think of a more moving gift that I could receive at this time.

"Like a child pulling it's hand out of a fire, I was afraid of you long after the pain went away. I'm not afraid anymore anymore. I doubt you're still the person I was afraid of. But I had to kill you out of my life for a long, long time to get to this place. You, of all people, should know that."

I understand completely, and bear no ill will towards you. If anything, all I want you to know is that when I think of you now, it's with appreciation and affection. You brought many beautiful things to my life, taught me a great deal, and I loved and enjoyed you very much. Now that I've gone through my own healing process, that's what I think of when I think of you. Those good feelings are still there, and I guess they were there underneath my emotional conflict all along, and probably will be forever. And that's good enough for me.

"The hatchet is buried, if it's me you mean."

Thank you. I simply don't know what to say----thank you.

Two more things...

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

You haven't been dreaming alone.

Good luck with your defense.

Re: Two more things...

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Crying like baby and not ashamed of it.

[sidhne.livejournal.com]

This happens to me a lot, except I always wake up disappointed that it still needs to be resolved. ::sigh::

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Miracles happen. Don't give up hope. See the above.

[sidhne.livejournal.com]

Absolutely amazing. I'll still hope.

Either way, though, I believe that these dreams are the brain's way of helping us to deal with difficult situations beyond our control.

[sharrainchains.livejournal.com]

Amazing. What a blessing - I cried for you both, just reading about it here!

never and won't

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

I was going to respond earlier today and give you a hard time about phrases like "won't ever" and things like that, but, well, I think circumstances got the point across better than I ever could have.

I'm so happy for you (both of you)!

[godcat.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful.

[willowoak.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a lovely gift all around. I'm very happy for you.

Blessed be thy feet that have brought thee in these ways.