Element Money Thoughts: Banishing Shame and Secrecy

[sabrinamari]

Yesterday I had an interesting financial discussion with a friend and colleague. In the course of that talk, he made a comment that really stuck with me. It went something like this: "Talking about money is still verboten. We've made alot of strides in being able to discuss other 'forbidden" topics---like sex---but asking someone how much they make is totally unheard of."

In the course of my Craft work, I've noticed that it's easy to make a tough challenge worse. All you have to do is hide it.

Anything shrouded in shame-based secrecy is instantly made harder to heal by several orders of magnitude. This is probably why Suze Orman, among others, regularly asks her studio audiences to turn to the total strangers sitting next to them and tell them how much they owe in credit card debt.

Our deeply engrained cultural pattern of secrecy frustrates me to no end. Looking around, it's clear to me that we as a culture have tremendous healing to do in order to enter into right relationship with Element Money. Our entire economy is in Neophyte---taking inventory of our false beliefs and dysfunctional patterns and facing their painful consequences.

The first step in that process is looking at the truth of the situation.

The second is acknowledging it openly.

Monday was my first day at work. I now make $58,750 at my job.

Michael and I are paying off approximately $4,000 of credit card debt. Two years ago, that number was $16,000.


During my first marriage, my husband and I carried nearly $30,000 in credit card debt. At times, I think we carried even more. My irresponsible spending was fully half of that problem.

Today, Michael and I have a $6,000 emergency fund.

Once Michael's cards are payed off, we will focus on saving enough money to buy a car for his soon-to-be-started business, in cash.

We don't yet know how much Michael will make this year. He wants to add to it by pursuing additional work that he loves. I am also very excited to see if I can add to our income by pursuing the coaching, teaching and writing work that I love.


I enjoy making money and putting it into my retirement and savings accounts. Saving and investing are as much fun for me as playing video games. Being in right relationship with money helps me flourish financially, and it gives me a sense of peace and happiness. I also love lending money to Third World entrepreneurs on KIVA.org. I have over 60 loans in my KIVA portfolio.

I no longer feel embarrassed or ashamed of enjoying abundance, and I love what it can do for me, my family and my world. For me, money equals units of freedom: the freedom to choose what I do, where I go and who I help. For me, money is a great and powerful good and it allows me to pursue my calling---my ministry---in the world in an unfettered way.

Life is better when there is enough and enough and enough to share.

Comments

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

That's a hell of a long way to come in two years. Congratulations. :)

Exactly three years ago, give or take a couple days, I quit a job that was making me miserable. I didn't have another job lined up, so I started temping. Temping helped me, but it wasn't enough. The seven months I was not permanently employed ate through my savings (not a ton to start with) and by the end of it, I was afraid of not being able to make rent on time. Then I got a permanent job. Now, I'm making over $10K more per year than I did at my old job, I have a savings account that's growing beautifully, I have a good buffer in my checking account, and I have not one but three retirement accounts (though I only contribute to one of them right now). Although the recession has cut into those retirement accounts and the interest on my savings account, I feel more financially secure than I ever have in the past. I'm beyond "comfortably getting by" and into "making money".

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful---I am very happy for you, and I'm delighted that you've been able to strengthen your knowledge about and relationship with money at much, much younger age than I.

[sidhne.livejournal.com]

i owe $12K to the credit card and can't make my $2200 mortgage payment. this includes a $75K HELOC which has eaten up all my equity. my tax refund will take care of two payments, but i will be out of money by the end of this year.

my employer lays off people every month, but i hate my job so much i'm dying to be in the next round.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

This is a rough, rough place to be. However, you are able to confront the situation and speak about what's happening. That means you can draw on resources from your community and support from those around you.

I'd love to read for you, if that would be useful, and offer whatever support you could use that I am able to give. How can I help?

Please email me at sabridotchaseatverizondot net if I can be of service.

[justusgirlz.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the drastic reduction in cc debt! But dang, girl, I woulda thought for sure that PhD. would have you raking in far more, after all that hard work. As long as you love what you're doing, tho - that's what counts most! What's this second job of Michael's? I've been penny pinching really well here for several months now myself and have been doing a far better job at it than expected - so I rewarded myself last weekend, but now I'm back to the ol' pinching. :D Anyways, darling, we need to talk about Beltane soon - when's a good time?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Nope--entry level post-Ph.D. jobs don't pay much at all, compared to the work put into them. Down the road, i will most likely reap financial rewards, but to start, this salary isn't bad for an anthro Ph.D.

I do, however, LOVE what I'm doing, and I will find a way to build on it and make more.

Right now, I'm pretty happy with the way things are going.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

To slay the demon, first say its name.

There's a special on making friends with money in an ADD/ADHD mag called Additude: ADHD-Friendly Ways to Save Money and Live Better: 14 easy ways for adults with ADHD to cut expenses, save cash, and breathe easier.

Seems to me you don't need to have ADHD to benefit from some of that advice.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Woo hoo---a cool link to explore.

Thank you.

And by the way, a super hero recently made her way to my house, causing shrieks of delight from everyone here...and oh, we are delighted!

Michael has taken down the Vonage for a week, but I will ask him to put it up again so we can talk on the phone and I can regale you with tales of our pleasure in your marvelously dead-on creative gift. :)

[warning-dca.livejournal.com]

you might consider backing your finances in gold if you want to keep your investment and not lose out as the paper dollar diminishes in value throughout this depression. By this i mean a solid gold purchase through a company like apmex.com In this way when you are ready to retire you will pay no taxes on your savings, as well as be able to redeem your savings for an amount equal to the value that you initially acquired it in the current market.