Paying Attention

[sabrinamari]

I have a good relationship with Element Money. After years of stress, denial and mistrust, we are now close. This month, my friend sent me a wake up call, telling me that my attention has wandered too far and that I need to refocus on our relationship.

The first rule of good relationship is simple:

Pay attention.

When you stop paying attention---when you cease to invest in the relationship---it starts to deteriorate. Sustained lack of attention equals disrespect, whether or not it is intended that way.

That which is disregarded eventually goes away.


This rule manifests quickly in regard to Element Money. The less you pay attention, the more it goes away. Returning to health means reversing this pattern.

This month I've traveled alot. I've paid attention to Pema, to a friend who will soon marry, to FSG, to my tribe, to packing and unpacking and to my garden.

I have not paid attention to Element Money. Thus, my money has started to go away. For the first time in ages, I paid bank fees and credit card fees. I did not notice when my checking account balance began to dip dangerously low enough to flirt with a low-balance fee---and I did not not notice when the balance on my gas card went over its limit. Through avoidable fees, Element Money shook me by the shoulders and told me to begin paying attention again.

I called the credit card and fought hard to get that particular fee removed, but I was only half successful. It went from astronomical ($39) to deeply annoying ($19). The $15 low-balance fee I paid really rubbed my face in what I was doing: I could have bought two sarongs at FSG or acquired a new fitness toy for what I paid through careless disregard of my friend.


So now it's back to basics:

Pay attention. Refocus. Resume my alliance with Element Money.

Comments

[glenmarshall.livejournal.com]

When multiple things compete for attention, I've developed a habit of proactively dealing with money.

For example, in our recent 3-week vacation I moved money from savings to pre-pay all the bills due in late May through mid-June and to have extra cash on hand for ATMs while in Europe. (Note: I *never* use money-changing services. They are horrible expensive. The rate through ATMs is for more reasonable.) When I got home from FSG I shifted money back to savings, paid the new bills that had arrived in the mail, and set aside enough to pay-off the credit card balances. No problem. Using savings for this is one reason we have savings -- not necessarily to spend or have "just in case", but to compensate for temporary changes in money-flow.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! I could have done this, but simply neglected to do so.

It's a good lesson to absorb now so that next time can be different.

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

I got bit, too. Went negative while I was away. Talked them out of one bounce fee, had to eat the other one. *sigh*

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Ouch! That hurts. {{{onyxtwilight}}}

[hypanebliss.livejournal.com]

Pardon the vulgarity but I must quote one of the Goddesses I work with: "Don't stray from the path. Don't stray from the fucking path. When in doubt, don't stray from the path!"

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Exactly!

[travelingtim.livejournal.com]

Actually, you might also take this as a wake up call to look into changing banks. My credit union has no low balance fees, I just stop earning interest if savings drops below $500. My credit cards have no annual fees and even though I occasionally have to pay interest on the one, I am always less then half the maximum balance. As a result, I never pay a fee other then interest. I also am forgiven late fees once or twice a year, a feature I rarely use but have been glad for those rare times I needed it.

So don't just assume good behavior, you should also go with credit cards and banks that treat you well even if you are human. Credit unions tend to treat people better then banks these days, but ask your friends and neighbors where they bank and find the place that does not charge you for the privilege of watching your money.

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

It happens to all of us dear one. Don't be too hard on yourself, forgive yourself for being human, "reset" things, and get back in the habit of paying a little more attention. :-)