A happy Mother's Day
May. 11th, 2008 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariThis weekend our family went camping with Trent's Cub Scout Pack. There are about 15 families in his Den, and we all camped together. I wasn't sure how it would be, but it was cool. I was one of only three mothers, and only two camped overnight, but it was alright. The dads were friendly, and there was lots to do: Michael and I went with Trent to get a BB gun shooting lesson, and we went out in an ancient and decrepit rowboat.
FSG camping came in as handy experience.
I got a beautiful card from Michael and Trent for Mother's Day. Trent colored a picture of Aang the Last Airbender on the envelope. It was so cool!
I spent the week baking cookies for all the many mothers in our lives: mine, Michael's, and Trent's two other mothers (his birth mother and his other poly-family-step?-mother). Plus, I ate some. Michael and I bought cards for everyone and pretty, inexpensive boxes with colored tissue to pack the cookies in, and I tied up all the packages with pretty ribbons. Plus, Trent's grandmother and poly step-mom got framed photos of Trent.
We all baked the cookies together and Trent decorated the sugar cookies with pink and purple sugar sprinkles and little hearts. He wrote out all his cards and made pictures, then I wrapped everything and packed them all up. Michael and I wrote out our Mother's Day cards, too. I wanted Trent to see that telling people you love them creatively can be fun and exciting. I did enjoy it! But I also stressed a little about getting all those boxes packed up and mailed out on time.
Still, it was good. I feel as though I'm reaping the fruits of years of emotional labor: the groundwork for this happiness was laid by years and years of hard differentiation work with my ex-husband, and even more time spent grieving, processing, articulating anger and entering into productive conflict with my own mother. During many of these times, I grappled with anger and unhappiness, but now, having done all that challenging labor, I think it was worth it.
Mothering is hard work, and so is daughtering. All forms of intimacy take work, commitment and courage in order to flower. If both you and your mother/partner/friend/colleague/student are willing to meet the challenges of painful but productive communication, things can go to a better place. In the end, I believe all this work pays off handsomely.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone.
FSG camping came in as handy experience.
I got a beautiful card from Michael and Trent for Mother's Day. Trent colored a picture of Aang the Last Airbender on the envelope. It was so cool!
I spent the week baking cookies for all the many mothers in our lives: mine, Michael's, and Trent's two other mothers (his birth mother and his other poly-family-step?-mother). Plus, I ate some. Michael and I bought cards for everyone and pretty, inexpensive boxes with colored tissue to pack the cookies in, and I tied up all the packages with pretty ribbons. Plus, Trent's grandmother and poly step-mom got framed photos of Trent.
We all baked the cookies together and Trent decorated the sugar cookies with pink and purple sugar sprinkles and little hearts. He wrote out all his cards and made pictures, then I wrapped everything and packed them all up. Michael and I wrote out our Mother's Day cards, too. I wanted Trent to see that telling people you love them creatively can be fun and exciting. I did enjoy it! But I also stressed a little about getting all those boxes packed up and mailed out on time.
Still, it was good. I feel as though I'm reaping the fruits of years of emotional labor: the groundwork for this happiness was laid by years and years of hard differentiation work with my ex-husband, and even more time spent grieving, processing, articulating anger and entering into productive conflict with my own mother. During many of these times, I grappled with anger and unhappiness, but now, having done all that challenging labor, I think it was worth it.
Mothering is hard work, and so is daughtering. All forms of intimacy take work, commitment and courage in order to flower. If both you and your mother/partner/friend/colleague/student are willing to meet the challenges of painful but productive communication, things can go to a better place. In the end, I believe all this work pays off handsomely.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-12 12:46 am (UTC)As am I.
Hugs.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-12 01:02 am (UTC)I can't wait to see you-- and your family-- at FSG! Missed you this year at Beltane!