Back from Free Spirit

[sabrinamari]

Free Spirit was good. I saw so many friends and people whom I love. I experienced pleasure and I got a chance to look closely at some lessons that I still need to learn and internalize more fully.

It was good.

I think I am going to recommend that every second or third year be a fallow year at festival for Craft teachers who work with me. It was incredibly useful to refrain from running workshops and rituals this year.

Life feels good!

When I came home, my beautiful strong man was eager to see me, and I was reminded again how fortunate I am to have this lovely strong person in my life and in my heart. I was so glad to come home to him. After a long day at work, he drove almost an hour late at night to be with me for a couple of hours and then drive home late, again.

While I was gone, he urged me to fully experience everything, and did not ask me to limit myself in any way or refrain from connecting with others in any way. He wants the best of everything for me, and he is good to me.

But I am glad that I put limits on myself. I wasn't sure about what I want or don't want in terms of poly, and ultimately I listened to that ambivalence and withdrew from situations in which I felt unsure, unsteady.

At least for now, that was the right decision. I wish though, that I had been clearer with myself and more able to understand and communicate that ambivalence in a healthy and transparent way to the people I respect and care for.

Lessons, lessons.

Comments

Being clear

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it just takes a while to figure this stuff out. Much better to withdraw than take action with unexpected and unwelcome consequences.

Looking forward to seeing you and your man soon!

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I snuck away while you were de-tenting because I hate saying goodbye. Cat told me not to dismantle the camp kitchen because she found another ride home for it. I asked several people to tell you. I hope they did.

Other than that I have this to say:

"mrowr!!!!!"

See you in two weeks. Call me and let me know if I should arrange your cert dives.

[daurdabla.livejournal.com]

But I am glad that I put limits on myself. I wasn't sure about what I want or don't want in terms of poly, and ultimately I listened to that ambivalence and withdrew from situations in which I felt unsure, unsteady.

Ms. Brina, you could give lessons in How To Explore Poly Relationships. They would probably be valuable for an awful lot of people who've been in such relationships for years, quite honestly. You took your usual process of listening to yourself and considering feelings and applied it appropriately to a new context. Have I mentioned how much I love and respect you lately?

At least for now, that was the right decision. I wish though, that I had been clearer with myself and more able to understand and communicate that ambivalence in a healthy and transparent way to the people I respect and care for.

And you'll know better next time. Like the rest of life, it's a learning experience, and I'll bet you weren't harsh or mean or hurtful to even one of those people.

[castalusoria.livejournal.com]

So good to see you-- albeit briefly! Hope to find more time to sit and talk in the future. Am glad you had a good week!

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

I'd like a full report, please :)