Warrior

Listening to Matisyahu this morning---I love to run to him, so passionate and powerful, and so full of good things for me. There's amazing overlap between his experience of his God and my experience of the divine, or maybe it's just about the passionate approach we both take to them.

Maybe it's the intensely physical/emotional relationship to spirit we share...yeah, that's it. "Warrior" and "King Without a Crown" spear me right through the heart.


You're a priest and a prince and you can't be moved
You're a priest and a prince and you can't be moved
You're a warrior, fighting for your soul
Taking from the world above, and brought down to this world below
Warrior

What's this feeling? My love will rip a skylight in the ceiling
Giving myself to you now from the essence of my being
And I sing to my god, songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing
King Without A Crown


I'd love to see him live.

Must learn to tell the direct truth

In 2008, I stopped using Outlook for awhile and forgot my password. Since I am not a close friend of Element Computer, this was not unusual.

I lived with it for quite a few months, just getting to my email via the web, until I ran across John, our most excellent IT guy. This was inconvenient, since I can't keep my work email for more than two months via the web program at work.

When I saw John, I thought it would be a good time to get the problem fixed, so I told him that I couldn't access Outlook and let him know that I needed his advice to fix it.

Now, John is an awesome guy. He is smart, knowledgeable and cool. I like him very much. He also has that sort of strong masculine presence which is *very, very yummy and good* but can also be a little intimidating to me under some circumstances. At the time, he looked at me and knitted together his strong, dark eyebrows with a very disapproving, scowly look.

(What he probably said); "It's not a problem unless you forgot your password."

(What I heard): "IT"S NOT A PROBLEM UNLESS YOU FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD...DEEP, ANGRY SCOWL"

(What I said): "Um, OK, it's not a big deal. Thanks." (slinking away quickly)

TWO YEARS later (yesterday, in fact):

John is cleaning up a new work computer for me in a cubicle nearby. This is a great thing, because my work PC is older than dirt and my new baby is a Mac. I love my Mac at home, so this is perfect.

John walks into my office and asks how I log into my email.

My brain stops, because this stuff really intimidates me. So I show him instead of telling him, and I log in via the web as I've been doing now for THE PAST TWO YEARS.

He looks at me. I look at him.

Him: "Did you forget your Outlook password?"

Me: "Yes." (Exerting effort to suppress quiet tremors)

Him: Pause. "OK, click here....now enter a new password in both these spaces. OK, now open Outlook. Good."

Ten seconds later, the problem is fixed.


I think there's a lesson here...maybe several.

But the clear lesson is this: "TELL THE TRUTH, CLEARLY AND DIRECTLY, ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON."

Deep breath.

I will remember this.