Better this morning

Yesterday I drew on the wise council of two friends. Listening to them helped me shift much further into sanity. I know what I need to do now. it's pretty simple, I'm already on track, and I simply need to encourage myself to stay on track.

As my dear friend dr._pretentious so insightfully put it, "I need to stop offering myself options that don't exist." I can have wisdom and truth, or I can have illusions that will never pan out and will continue to hold me back. I vote for wisdom and truth. I can live in truth and accept it.

Interestingly, when I realized what this meant for me, the bag of pain in my chest dissipated (sp?). I expect it will be back later, along with my ambivalence, though I'd rather these two stayed away. But for now, I can see, hear, and accept the truth, and it is good.

Lojong Cards, Day 1

I am going to start posting a lojong card, with some commentary from Pema Chodron, every day (or every few days).

Today's card: "Don't wallow in self pity."

Back of card: Catch yourself when you do this and recognize that it just increases your suffering (and that of others).

Extended commentary:

"Seeing neurosis as neurosis. The first difficulty is to see what you do. There is a slogan that goes along with that that says, 'Liberate yourself by examining and analyzing' [yesterday's card]. This is an interesting point, to be able to see what we do without hating ourselves. This can also be a description of 'maitri'---loving-kindness. We could see what we do with honesty but with gentleness. We could see what we do and realize that's our first experience of the big squeeze. It's the path of a warrior, seeing what we do without turning it against ourselves...the first step is to see yourself wallowing in self-pity....instead of using it as ammunition against yourself, you can lighten up and realize it's the information you need in order to keep your heart open."

"Start Where You Are," Pema Chodron, p. 216-217.

Reminded to look by tigira

Free Will Astrology

Scorpio

Materialism is our culture's dominant ideology. It's the specious doctrine that physical matter is the only reality and that nothing can be said to exist unless it's perceivable by our five senses or detected by instruments we've created. Paradoxically, the proponents of materialism warn us to be skeptical about all phenomena that they don't recognize as real, even as they fanatically avoid skepticism about their own fundamentalist assumptions! I urge you to undertake an inquiry into the ways your outlook on the world has been hemmed in by this crippling superstition, Scorpio. Begin immediately. In 2005, you'll be offered abundant help from spiritual sources. If you're overly influenced by materialism, you'll have trouble recognizing and accessing those riches.