From "Early Morning Buddhist Inspirations"

[sabrinamari]

When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.

Thich Nhat Hanh



What you think upon grows...

Comments

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

The eternal dilemma-----how to love those who are NOT loveable. At least, not loveable to the naked eye.

My mother used to tell me that I dragged home all the "stray puppies" of the world for boyfriends----thoe that didn't look the best, or were quirky, or had something else that made them less than desirable in the eyes of the world. Somehow, I always managed to find that spark of humanity----the one who was a brilliant conversationalist, even though he looked like Lurch on the Addams Family, or the one that was interested in science and art just as I was, or the one that just needed someone to tell him that he was a person and worthy of being loved as such.

I now need to continue to work on discrimiating between "eros" and "agape"---and not allowing the two to mix in my heart OR the other person's heart. It's hard to separate the two sometimes----especially when I also need someone to recognize my need to be loved. A real challenge indeed!

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

It is good that you are actively working to shift this pattern into a form that can support you and provide a good foundation for your happiness. Seeing what you tend to do and working with it willingly is a beautiful thing that will lead to growth, and probably more happiness.

Cool!

Love

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

Our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.

When you have a child, this message becomes loud and clear. No matter how much I love Pumpkin Girl, there are times when she is not lovable. I have to hang in there and interact with her from a place of loving calmness. It works wonders. It's much better than screaming at her (tried that - doesn't work).

Re: Love

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Funny, screaming doesn't usually work for me either. Guess there's a pattern here.

Re: Love

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh yes! Having had four children and now 5 cats, it's a lesson that I've learned over and over and over again. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my children, including the four-legged ones---but they always managed to push my buttons! I'm sure the gods have lessons in patience, compassion and pure love in mind when children enter our lives...there are just so many times when you just want to knock them into next week!

One of my favorite things to say to myself and others when we arise against our children out of anger, pettiness or frustration is "Who's the adult, and who's the child?" I find it works to put me right in a place of at least reasonableness---I have to be the example for them! So far, it seems to work---and it works with other people, too! Bonus!

Who's the adult?

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

"Who's the adult, and who's the child?"

Wouldn't work for me. You see, I'm pretty stubborn. If I'm acting like a child, simply pointing that out will make me cling even more to my childish behaivor.

What works for me is to remind myself to breath. To go to that calm place where I can respond out of love. But, then, I suppose I should mention that I did an imagery session with my office mate (she needed a guinea pig) where I was given an visualization to use in these very circumstances. It works. I use it. Lots. Well, perhaps less than before. PG responds better when I'm calm.

[dawningday.livejournal.com]

Just because I totally needed to see this this morning doesn't mean I'm any less salty about it. ;)

Thanks.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I know the feeling.