Lammas sacrifice

[sabrinamari]

Lammas was good this year. Cause the rest of the year is simply the rest of the year, with many, many good things, and Lammas is only just one part of it. I am still smiling every time I think of caput_aerus's playful reading of an earlier, dramatically self-pitying post in which I wrote "Every day is Lammas". Now I can't stop smiling when I think of anything related to this statement, because, hey, as he pointed out, every day is llamas, people! [Insert silly internet llama video here].

Still smiling.

So, along this line, I decided to give up self-righteous anger. It was useful for awhile, and it got me out of some ugly places. It was seductive, in that it allowed me to feel superior, and oh, so deeply wronged! (laughing). What an utter waste of time!

So I give up that lovely, short-term feeling of superiority and the indulgence of being able to reliably be angry at someone who deserves it. I will move on to other things, and occupy those brain cells with emotions and thoughts that are immeditaely relevant, linked to the present, and don't serve to artificially prop me up. So there! (chuckling)

Bye, righteous anger (waving a little yellow handkerchief). Not interested in seeing you later.

Comments

Choir, I hereby preach to you or What I've learned about righteous anger

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

One mans "righteous" is another mans "shat upon."

Look at Edmund the bastard in King Lear. He has every right to indulge in righteous anger over the preferential treatment his father shows to his legitimate son. But the anger doesn't win him happiness. It festers in him and leads him down a path that ends in his own destruction.

So someone wronged you. They really, really wronged you. Or did they? Was it a misundestanding? Did they know they were violating your boundaries or your trust? Are they capable of understanding your boundaries or the trust you placed in them? Even if the violation was knowing and wilful - so what? The anger will only hurt the one who harbors it. Anger may be righteous, but it is not useful.

Righteous anger at the President of the United States is healthy and encouraged however, as long as it is accompanied by a visit to your poling place in November.

Blech. I'm way too tired to be doing this.

Re: Choir, I hereby preach to you or What I've learned about righteous anger

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Your words are wise!

But I agree about W...

Re: Choir, I hereby preach to you or What I've learned about righteous anger

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I'm tragically immersed in thoughts about anger and its effects on human relationships because I made the mistake of watching 6 Feet Under last Sunday. FD reminded me of the scene a few seasons back where Nate savagely beat a snake to death. He and I both agree that Nate is an asshat. He was the one who wasn't making any effort to make things better between him and Brenda. He created his own dissatisfaction. His random, irrational, diffuse anger made it impossible to let Brenda in to his heart.

Brendas anger was the righteous sort - "You're a narcisist! You're betraying me with the mousy quaker! You not on board with our baby! I'm a good wife and you're not holding up your part of the bargain! You refuse to go to therapy with me!" Righteous indeed, but not useful.

These are fictitious characters and they have nothing to do with you. Your comment and the final scene between Brenda and Nate just touched a nerve in me. My own anger and my response to anger in others is an issue.

Anger is an involuntary response, controlled by neurotransmitters and a few, specific parts of the brain. I was trained from the age of four to let go of it, but that training didn't work. Constant vigilance may help one learn to recognize it and back away from it before acting on it. But I don't think anyone is ever cured of anger. We can't control the chemicals that flood our brains. We can only learn to acknowledge our anger, and then turn away from it.

[faedaughter.livejournal.com]

This all reminds me of what Hecate says about guilt. Its only useful up to a point, then its self-destructive and/or self-indulgent. Those weren't her exact words... but excessive guilt just *exasperates* her. Anger seems to be similar in that way... only useful up to a point. :)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

after which it becomes just as much of a problem as whatever it was you were angry about.

It's wierd: first a coping mechanism keeps you alive, then it becomes one of the things that cripple you...

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

Lammas has become one of my favorite holidays. This year was my third anniversary with balefire and blue star. While not the celebration I could have hoped for, still a good sabbat. It's got me doing a lot of thinking about sacrifices, and what appropriate sacrifices I should start thinking about making in my life right now. I've got some ideas, I'd like to talk to you about them.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Cool beans. Other stuff seems to be happening here, too. I'll fill you in later, after getting some work done.

big smiles

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

congrats on the anniversaries and how the sabbat has manifested for you. lammas was the first sabbat i celebrated in a group ever and it moved mountains of psychic resistance in one afternoon.

Re: big smiles

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

You know, I used to run a pagan networking group in NJ and that was started on Lammas too. Hmmm.... I'm seeing a trend here. I need to start paying attention to this!

Re: big smiles

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

i grew up in Summit and Berkeley Heights (where evilbunny lives) and went To Rutgers U for my undergrad.

where do you live in NJ???

Re: big smiles

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

I live between exit 7 and 7A on the NJ Turnpike. :-)

I live in Hamilton, near Trenton. But if you've spent any time here you get the above joke.

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

oh honey what to say except big loves. i'm in a simialr space about anger. i'm really trying to shovel old nasty energy out of my energetic space befoew the moon and its daunting. pockets of it persist. elphaba's thougth on 6FU particuaolr poignant because that show works me and i identify a tad too much with Nate. He turned 40 the same weekend i did. yikes. and then lst nigth they killed him. i mean, fuck you roger ball.

where was i going with this.

oh yes anger. reclaiming my abiloity to feel and express it is weird because i get angry at having been trained out of it. Lu's 4 year old issues with frustration (namely any minute she is not getting precisely what she wants) are being a powerful mirror for how i was socialized around my anger.

it's a tool. it's a barometer and alarm system. it can be the catalyst to needed change. but it is fire and fire's nature is to be consuming. so keeping a low level burn on the back burner depletes fuel and doesn't do much good, but focusing it all like lazer to cut thru saomething negative and then turning it off, is a better plan.

you've moved past of a lot of the anger at FerretBoy and far more spce for joy and love is created. i'm very happy for you.

<Hugs> to you Rio

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I want to add that Nate isn't a villian. He's just a flawed, ordinary human pursuing his own comfort and survival, and hurting others in the process. Brenda was the asshat a few seasons back. They have reversed roles this season. First she reniged on her commitment to him. Now he has reniged on his commitment to her.

I think everyone involved in the Nate/Brenda/Mousy Maggie love triangle behaved badly at times. I hero worshipped Maggie until she banged Nate. All through that scene I was on the edge of my seat muttering, "Don't do that! Don't do that!" And then she kissed him back and broke my heart.

Argh!!! Just once I want to see someone on that show do something because it's the honorable thing to do.

Re: <Hugs> to you Rio

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

Just once I want to see someone on that show do something because it's the honorable thing to do.

I think that's the point. They can be honoirable or authentic. He nobly married Lisa abd should not have.

I'm releived that what I was experiencing as poor Brenda& nate still having problems was just, wow, you're right this whole thing is pushing rope.

As Nate says "I thought it was passion and it's just drama."

Word. I mean. Word.

[evaelisabeth.livejournal.com]

Righteous anger is useful up to a point, it allows us to let off steam, clear out the clogged pathways. After that it becomes a barrier to us moving on in any kind of constructive way. It can stop us from considering possibilities, from opening communications, and getting on with our lives. Use it as a motivator and stress release in the immediate but then discard it as the disposable tool it is. And remember recycling paper plates is a good thing so channeling all that energy into something constructive can sometimes move mountains.