(no subject)

[sabrinamari]

Many new requests. Thinking of gentle, kind ways to say, "No" and "Not right now." I like "Maybe later." It's accurate, honest and gentle, and does not reject the other person. It just points out that this is not the right time. Things change all the time, so later, it might fit perfectly.

Comments

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I have had to learn to be careful with "maybe later" type answers. Sometimes I really did mean, "No, I'd really rather not," but I didn't want to say so. Saying it only when there really is a chance that I might be willing and able do it later is important!

Another thing is, "Well, I can help in this way instead," or "I can do this part of it." Directing people to other useful resources is often helpful and less time-consuming than giving them information or instructions, and sometimes even just a bit of help is enough.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Good point. Generally, I really mean it when I say it.

[showingup.livejournal.com]

Lots of people interpret it as either a definite yes (and slam you with plans in a few weeks or months time, and get upset because "you said yes when I asked"), or as a dismissal of them and their wants/needs. So it prolly needs qualifications. We're just not used to thoughtful plain speaking.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I'll think about this. Usually I *really* mean, "Hey, maybe later this will be a good idea. I don't know now."

I always have to think about things anyway before I do them.

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Then why not say that?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, I guess I could.

Sometimes I actually do.

[showingup.livejournal.com]

It really is a very clear and reasonable and centred and friendly way of putting it. See? All that worrying, and you just came up with it off the cuff.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I LOVE yours suggestion for redirecting people to other resources and offering alternate ways of helping...

[showingup.livejournal.com]

YES! Pointing people at alternatives is just really satisfying in itself, too.