Amusing idiocy
Dec. 19th, 2011 07:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariAlso, I came home to a warning letter from my apartment's managers telling me that I am in danger of being evicted if I do not get rid of my illegal cat.
Ha.
I wrote them back. My letter is under the cut.
December 18, 2011
Dear ________ Management,
Recently, I received a warning letter from you telling me that I am in danger of being evicted, as I have a cat in my apartment.
This was a surprise to me.
My husband, Michael Brown, is deathly allergic to cats, dogs, rabbits and all animals that have fur and shed dander. When he and I first decided to live together, I had to give up my two beloved cats. This was very painful, and I still get sad when I think about it. When I visit friends who have cats, I must observe a special “cat protocol” and drop my clothes immediately upon returning to make sure that Michael doesn’t explode in a storm of sneezes. Hands must be carefully washed after any furry animal is given love and pettings, and our friends must take care to try and get the fur off of their clothes before arriving for a visit so that no dander is accidentally transmitted to our household.
This is a huge inconvenience. Sometimes, Michael just has to sneeze.
Imagine my surprise upon being told that somewhere, somehow, there is a clandestine, allergin-free cat hiding in this apartment.
Looking around very carefully, I have to say that I have not found it. I’ve searched about quite hopefully, and I must conclude that there is no such cat. The only cats around here are the normal, run-of-the-mill feral cats that sometimes come to our back door for the food and treats that I give them, and they run away if a human so much as gestures randomly in their direction.
I suggest that the manager or his designated representative visit our apartment at his or her convenience to investigate further. Feel free to return at any time. I will leave some cookies out for them on the dining room table. They are seasonal, anyway.
If he or she can find such an allergin-free cat, do let me know. Until then, I shall continue to live cat-free, in deference to my husband’s nose.
Yours truly,
Sabrina Chase
Ha.
I wrote them back. My letter is under the cut.
December 18, 2011
Dear ________ Management,
Recently, I received a warning letter from you telling me that I am in danger of being evicted, as I have a cat in my apartment.
This was a surprise to me.
My husband, Michael Brown, is deathly allergic to cats, dogs, rabbits and all animals that have fur and shed dander. When he and I first decided to live together, I had to give up my two beloved cats. This was very painful, and I still get sad when I think about it. When I visit friends who have cats, I must observe a special “cat protocol” and drop my clothes immediately upon returning to make sure that Michael doesn’t explode in a storm of sneezes. Hands must be carefully washed after any furry animal is given love and pettings, and our friends must take care to try and get the fur off of their clothes before arriving for a visit so that no dander is accidentally transmitted to our household.
This is a huge inconvenience. Sometimes, Michael just has to sneeze.
Imagine my surprise upon being told that somewhere, somehow, there is a clandestine, allergin-free cat hiding in this apartment.
Looking around very carefully, I have to say that I have not found it. I’ve searched about quite hopefully, and I must conclude that there is no such cat. The only cats around here are the normal, run-of-the-mill feral cats that sometimes come to our back door for the food and treats that I give them, and they run away if a human so much as gestures randomly in their direction.
I suggest that the manager or his designated representative visit our apartment at his or her convenience to investigate further. Feel free to return at any time. I will leave some cookies out for them on the dining room table. They are seasonal, anyway.
If he or she can find such an allergin-free cat, do let me know. Until then, I shall continue to live cat-free, in deference to my husband’s nose.
Yours truly,
Sabrina Chase
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no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:42 am (UTC)I can't stop laughing.
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Date: 2011-12-20 09:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 03:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 04:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 09:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 07:44 am (UTC)It reminds me of the world's best letter of support to immigration services.
Who the hell told them you'd a cat anyway - and why?
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Date: 2011-12-20 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 01:32 pm (UTC)You have someone in the complex with a complex.
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Date: 2011-12-20 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 10:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 02:44 pm (UTC)Love the letter! LOL
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Date: 2011-12-20 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-20 06:56 pm (UTC)When monsteralice and I were still living in an apartment, the tenants below us claimed we were stomping around on bare wood floors in the middle of the day. Since we both worked in the daytime, and our floors manifestly had rugs in the area of complaint, the manager decided to ignore this complaint... especially since the complainants had changed their deadbolt lock (against the rental agreement) and appeared to be otherwise rather... eccentric.
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Date: 2011-12-20 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-21 12:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-21 09:21 pm (UTC)