Being careful

[sabrinamari]

When I do the kind of talking and teaching I did yesterday, I come away feeling powerfully certain that this is the sort of work I am meant to do. When I speak, I feel as though the Tao or the universe is speaking through me, and I myself am small and insignificant. But this isn't a bad thing. It frees me from worrying what people will think about me or whether or not they see Awkward Girl. In those moments, when I submit to the will of the universe and open my mouth, I am a channel for something a thousand times bigger, and the best gift I can give is to be a willing and open tool.

People always respond to that. The less I care what they think, the better a channel I am, and the more they listen and connect.

It feels really, really good, too. Like I am doing exactly what I am meant to do.

Still, I know I must be careful. "You must know that you are very charismatic," one student said to me. And I smiled, and I thanked them. But it's not me that's so charismatic, it's the universe flowing through me. When people see me speak, they see Sabrina-flavored universe. It's heavily flavored, but it's not just me.

So I am careful, and only let really close the people who can see me and love me as I truly am: Awkward Girl as much as universal tool.

Comments

[zammis.livejournal.com]

this is pretty much how I treat. :)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. Maybe you can tell me more?

[showingup.livejournal.com]

You are also personally charismatic, as well as being an excellent conductor of energy. Mum today, when we talking about you, said, "Sabrina's so PRETTY, and very charismatic."

Yes, you're a tool, but I love you anyway ;)

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

1. Thank your mom for me, kay?

2. Can I tell you how much I love that? Clever girl!

[showingup.livejournal.com]

1. Will do. Of course, she wasn't being nice, she was just reacting in shock to me telling her that you'd struggled with confidence about your appearance some while ago when we were talking about how weird it is that some of the most apparently confident and together people are shy

2. You can always count on me to go for the obvious, crude, and ridiculous joke. It is one of my superpowers :D

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I really liked "dorktastic". That was especially fun.

[shades-of-nyx.livejournal.com]

Interesting. We've talked about this before with respect to how much Universe I let pour through my head. We could discuss this further on a Craft filter?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I hardly filter anything anymore. Can we do it quite openly? I want to stay transparent if I can. It feels better. : )

[shades-of-nyx.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. I didn't know if you wanted to talk about the Invocation experience in public. Some people consider it a Sekrity Sekrit. Someone just told me the other day, that the compensation for the fact that I now have "swiss cheese brain" aka "cognitive impairment" is the fact that the "holes" let other things in. Sometimes the Universe/Gods do the "heavy lifting" when I cannot. I don't always realize it. Very light level Invocation happens quite frequently. My playful, silly, crazy, looks a lot like Mabh. My financial manager sounds a lot like Hades. Etc. So, when you've got your groove on, professionally, it sounds like the Lady shines through you. How wonderful is that?

[showingup.livejournal.com]

I incline towards the belief that when we've got our grooves on, it's because we're properly aligned our Selves and the rest of the cosmos, so we have all the right forces lined up and working together. So they're coming through us, and possibly vice versa.

[deboranter.livejournal.com]

nope its you! it might also be the universe but your love and wonder comes through no matter what. its you. give yerself some credit here.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hugging you!