I just remembered it's OK

[sabrinamari]

Oh my god, it's OK----

I just remembered that there are 4 largely unwatched seasons of Buffy on DVD at waiting at home. No matter how bad it gets this week, I can numb the pain and fear with a non-self-destructive activity---maybe even watching episodes while I am on cardio equipment for super double-self-soothing effects.

Comments

[sidhne.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. I feel the same way about "Xena: Warrior Princess." Total mind-Novacaine.

I don't understand

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

Unwatched (!?!) seasons of Buffy? How is this possible?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

yes, complete loss of self in fantasy.

love it.

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

You will find some awesomely therapeutic moments in seasons 3 and 4, and fair warning: the end of season 2 will reduce you to a blubbering wreck. Be prepared. Don't skip it, it's really good -- but be prepared for the aftermath. Given your current state, I doubt you'll be able to avoid it except by emotionally distancing yourself from what's happening on the screen, which would be a shame. Buffy was really, really good then. :-)

Re: I don't understand

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

During much of the mid-dissertation process I was lucky to get an episode here and there, and I actually almost totally missed the first two seasons. My loss then is my gain now! Hurrayyyyyy!

And if things get deeply horrible, I can watch "Once More with Feeling" on endless repeat.

[onyxtwilight.livejournal.com]

The winter here is cold, and bitter,
It’s chilled us to the bone
Haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long, too far from home...

-- Sarah McLachlan, Full of Grace

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I am really scared about that, actually. Over the weekend I watched the episodes right up to and including "Graduation Day Parts 1 and 2" and ended up balling, screaming in anguish and pain and misery, for many hours. It was probably a bad decision to watch those episodes while I was sorting through all my stuff and creating my new space.

Shannon came home and forced me to switch to a comic episode. I was so fucking miserable.

I don't even like Angel that much. He's tormented and boring until at least Season 2 of Angel, when he develops a better sense of humor.

On the other hand, I also self-medicated with "Hush" and early Riley and Tara episodes. I love Tara, and I love Tara and Willow's relationship. It's so tender and healthy, at least until Willow gets addicted. Also, I have a serious crush on Riley. I know alot of people don't like him, but I'll take him over Angel any day. He is utterly unthreatened by Buffy and LIKES her strength and power. He is her match, and in fact, he's MORE emtionally available, honest and authentic than she is by a long shot. He WANTS to talk about their relationship! He is also a genuinely good, compassionate person, and he's not tormented by anything except Buffy's dumbass emotional immaturity later in the series. Dear gods, what I would give for a man who is not tormented by anything!

Plus, he kicks ass and his muscles ripple when he takes his shirt off, which is quite often. : )

Now I'm really flabbergasted

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

YOU MISSED THE FIRST TWO SEASONS?????????

YOU MISSED THE FIRST TWO SEASONS?????????

YOU MISSED THE FIRST TWO SEASONS?????????

You have so much to look forward to. I envy you.

But omigod!!!YOU MISSED THE FIRST TWO SEASONS! You missed Buffy's whole relationship with the dark, broody one! You missed the best halloween episode of any TV series, ever! You missed the set up for the "demon magnet" joke. You missed the thing that happened between The Chosen One and one of her closest childhood friends from LA. You missed the hyena episode where Xander starts hanging out with a rough crouwd. You missed the quintessential conversation between a highschool student and her guidance counselor.

As I said earlier, you have SO MUCH to look forward to. Just thinking about it makes me quiver. BTVS was so smart in the first 2 seasons.

Don't tell me you've never seen the film version.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Sadly, yes.

That's why there's purple chenille blankets, good friends and sunlamps.

Also spicy tuna rolls.

[effloresense.livejournal.com]

Someone else who doesn't hate Riley! Woo!

I'm not saying that I'm a huge fan of his. But I really liked him being the shift for Buffy from the Huge Dramatic Angst that was Angel. Even though Angel was just so true to teen love, IME. :-D

But I'm also one who thought that her best relationship in the whole show was with Giles. That and I had such a major crush on Tony Head. ;)

The proof of the pudding

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

know alot of people don't like him, but I'll take him over Angel any day. He is utterly unthreatened by Buffy and LIKES her strength and power. He is her match, and in fact, he's MORE emtionally available, honest and authentic than she is by a long shot. He WANTS to talk about their relationship! He is also a genuinely good, compassionate person, and he's not tormented by anything except Buffy's dumbass emotional immaturity later in the series.

Riley's a good guy. I liked him from the start because I wanted Buffy to be happy and he made her happy. It was always clear that Spike was bad for Buffy, despite his unadulterated sex appeal. Spike only became good for Buffy because he frikin' grew up and morphed into a totally different person.

If you want proof that Riley was a good guy you need only look at the next relationship he got involved in. He went out, found himself a juicy, powerful woman and made a lifelong commitment to her. That's my kind of guy.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Ah, I adore him. He's lovely!

I totally agree with you about her relationship with Giles---it rocks. Giles rocks, actually, I am deeply enjoying his endless cleaning of glasses, and looking forward to seeing the jennie calender episodes of which I have only heard but not yet seen.

Re: Now I'm really flabbergasted

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I saw the film and liked it very much, but I love the series even more.

yes, all that non-self-destructive goodness is just waiting, waiting for me to finish transcribing this focus group so that I can go home and relaese my brain into fantasy...

Tony Head is my dream boy

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I like those bad boys who grow up to see the error of their former, bad ways.

Your comment about Riley "being the shift for Buffy from the Huge Dramatic Angst that was Angel" is only partially true. Tucker (did I get his name right?) was Buffy's first romantic interest after Angel and he was an utter jerk. He taught her that the world outside her great romance can be a cold place, indeed. Riley was to Angel as soulless Spike was to Tucker. Tucker opened the door to abusive sexuality. Spike walked in.

(Sorry Sabrina. I don't mean to hijack your thread. When it comes to Buffy, I just don't have suffient discretion to shut the hell up.)

Re: The proof of the pudding

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY!!!!

I agree on all counts!

I want a man like Riley!

OR

A woman like Tara.

Either would be heavenly, and as my friend Sarah pointed out to me, I only need one. It's not like I need to unearth a whole tribe of amazing, compatible people. Just one will do.

Re: Tony Head is my dream boy

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

No, go ahead, I love it. This show is my relaxation and happiness fix. Go for it!

Who is Tony Head?

Myself, I don't usually like bad boys anymore. I resisted liking Spike until very late in the game---until it became clear that, despite the "rules" of the Buffy universe, Spike was actually exhibiting more compassion, more tenderness and more emotional maturity than Buffy was! During that period, Buffy was the villain, and Spike was the long-suffering hero, in my opinion.

I was so damn mad at her---she had not one, but *two* good, kind men in succession and she treated them both like dirt! I felt saying, you spoiled little bitch, you don't deserve either of them! I would know exactly what to do with a compassionate, warm, handsome man, even if you don't!

Send him my way, you foolish thing...

Re: Tony Head is my dream boy

[effloresense.livejournal.com]

Actually, I believe his name was Parker. I tend to write Parker off as a blip. Not that he wasn't a twist to the development of her character. I think he was characteristic of her lowered self-esteem and made it impossible that she could have ever had a lasting relationship with Riley. But that problem was already there with Angel leaving her and so I don't tend to give him too much weight in the course of things. More that he was indicative of a state than a mover and shaker.

[seedmoon.livejournal.com]

I absolutely LOVE the way you think.

This thread is cracking me up. It's awesome.
Thanks for the smile and laughs guys.

P~ (another Buffy fan who gets all of what you are saying)

[wild-place-king.livejournal.com]

I am starting to pant and wheeze.

Who is Tony Head?

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

Anthony Head. The Maxwell House Coffee guy aka Rupert Giles, worlds sexiest bookworm.

By the way, During the Riley thing I wasn't so much mad at Buffy as sad watching her make mistakes and lose a really good guy. And with Spike, well, Spike was a different story altogether. What would you do if a morally repugnant but sizzling hot sex machine treated you like a goddess? (I've been there. Yucko.) Would you love him despite his evil core, or would you be ambivalent. I understand exactly why Buffy had to break up with Spike when she did. If was a sign of growth that she understood that indulging in her passion for him was killing her soul. She couldn't really allow herself to care for him until he became a different person.

Remember the last moment of Once More With Feeling? "This isn't real, but I just want to feel." (Smooch) There ain't NOTHING healthy about that, sister, and don't you forget it. Seriously. Don't you forget it.

Re: Who is Tony Head?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I know...I won't forget it. Actually, one thing I'm thinking about quite alot is that I don't want to fall into any of the most common breakup traps. Here they are, according to one text, in order:

1. the rebound relationship (sometimes an overlapping relationship that started before the breakup with the ex-partner)
2. inappropriate relationships (with bosses, work colleagues or subordinates or others in really bad positions of power or structure that promise future disaster)
3. self-medicating with sex (see Buffy's line above)
4. workaholism
5. displacement of anger onto other people
6. shutting out the world
7. refusing to let go of the dead relationship
8. moving back in with mom and dad
9. self medicating with substances
10. focusing on one's anxiety about one's children

I see myself as at risk for
4, 5 6 and 7 right now

and later, around beltaine and summer, I worry about
1, 2 and 3

For the moment, I'm trying to innoculate myself against bad choices driven by weakness, fear, loneliness, sorrow and the desire to prop up my self image. I'm hoping for some significant pre-emptive harm reduction.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Cool! I didn't realize that you liked Buffy, too. Another thing we can talk and laugh about---always good. Non-destructive humor is always good. It's actually an informal Buddhist "Tenet of Faith". One more reson to love Buddhist thought. : )

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hee hee! hope you are OK, dear!

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Don't forget the dreamy english accent.... Man can make me just melt listening to him.

Giles Love

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

A little girls most meaningful male relationship is always with her father, isn't it?

My favorite Giles moment is when he comes back from England in the 6th (I think) season. Buffy says, "I've been sleeping with Spike." Giles bursts out laughing. Good stuff, that.

And of course there is the joke that Spike and Giles have so much in common, Spike actually COULD be Giles' son.

[wild-place-king.livejournal.com]

Aggghhh, chest pain, too!

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

You're kidding, right?

[wild-place-king.livejournal.com]

About the panting and wheezing? Yes. About the chest pain? Yes, that too.