(no subject)

[sabrinamari]

Right now, I look like I'm sitting in an office, typing.

But that's not what's happening at all.

I've spent the last few days running as fast and hard as I can, pushing myself to do as many intimidating things as I could imagine, one after the other. I just put the second scary thing to bed. Originally I planned only one more, but ha! I shoved another one in this morning, and it was a big one.

So far, I'm still here.

The only possibility I can see: something inside me truly believes that I can do anything. Anything.

Probably Phoenix.

http://sabrinamari.livejournal.com/589332.html


The trickiest part is that I've got all these other important things that have to happen at the same time: other work-related projects/creations, Blue Star students patiently awaiting my attention, Hearth keepers who need me this weekend, friends and acquaintances who want coaching...a very annoyed catpaw67 who needs my Beltane pre-con submission TODAY, and a beloved colleague waiting to see if I'll help him for another year.

It's like rebuilding a jumbo jet plane while it's in flight.

My tribe, my colleagues and my family all deserve those parts of me I've promised them, yet I'm busy walking tightropes over ten story buildings while my heart beats so fast that I swear it will fly from my chest.

It's as though I'm addicted to fear. No...to overcoming fear.

I test and test and push and ask, "How far can I go now? ...Now? ...Now!"

"How far can I really go?"

Comments

[papabear008.livejournal.com]

This Phoenix wants to know if there is room under the desk? or at lest some time to play at beltane??

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I think I'm ripping out my own baggage, dear, but I will touch base with you before Beltane. Thank you!

[papabear008.livejournal.com]

honnie i am not asking to work on you I am asking to play!! flogging or wax or fire some thing along thoue lines