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sabrinamariI should be asleep, but instead I'm pondering the goodness of things. I've been asking my delicious man for more freedom---more actual freedom, instead of the theoretical freedom I've had but have hardly ever taken. I want to go see Kelly and Abe regularly and get more involved in FoV planning. I want to visit Christine and O, and I want to see new places and do new things, meeting new people on my own.
He's intensely focused on his new business, and he won't be nearly as involved with FoV or at other gatherings next year, so our timing is good.
Still, his solid, protective nature isn't used to this new independence and he's having to adjust a bit. He's doing it gracefully, openly and honestly---even telling me outright when he feels uncomfortable or worried that I will stray too far away from him and not come back. I love that. He's so brave and kind, even when he's nervous. Part of the reason I can explore new paths is that I've finally realized that I don't have to give up all the good things I already have---like him---in order to feel more and take greater delight into my life.
I think that was part of what I was so worried about before FoV. Now, I can see that it doesn't have to be traumatic.
As O told me, "Venus pays well. That's why I work for her."
He's intensely focused on his new business, and he won't be nearly as involved with FoV or at other gatherings next year, so our timing is good.
Still, his solid, protective nature isn't used to this new independence and he's having to adjust a bit. He's doing it gracefully, openly and honestly---even telling me outright when he feels uncomfortable or worried that I will stray too far away from him and not come back. I love that. He's so brave and kind, even when he's nervous. Part of the reason I can explore new paths is that I've finally realized that I don't have to give up all the good things I already have---like him---in order to feel more and take greater delight into my life.
I think that was part of what I was so worried about before FoV. Now, I can see that it doesn't have to be traumatic.
As O told me, "Venus pays well. That's why I work for her."
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Date: 2010-09-30 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 08:54 pm (UTC)laughing
I will *so* take you with me.
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Date: 2010-09-30 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 11:02 pm (UTC)We should talk to Christine and O and find out when we could visit. Maybe this trip could include kiddos and Liam or Michael if they wanted to/were available to come...
I need to get busy building my ancestor altar. As usual, I did not plant marigolds in time. Do you know where I can get some?
Me too me too
Date: 2010-09-30 05:53 am (UTC)Re: Me too me too
Date: 2010-09-30 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 09:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 01:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-01 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-01 01:17 pm (UTC)How Wonderful!
Date: 2010-09-30 02:06 pm (UTC)I like to use the phrase "Power without Guilt. Love without Doubt."
I'll be having to explain the same to my Love. I'll remember this when I do.
And O is brilliant! I'm stealing that.
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Date: 2010-09-30 02:23 pm (UTC)Sending love to you and M and T, and grateful for the time I've been able to spend with you! I hope the calendar works out to allow for more!
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Date: 2010-09-30 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-01 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-01 08:37 pm (UTC)At any given moment, which is worse?
I always flinch at the first, sometimes repeatedly, but the second...
...that's the real terror.
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Date: 2010-09-30 10:30 pm (UTC)