Life Lessons: Last Night, Dancing
Dec. 13th, 2009 04:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariLast night ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mage_imbroglio and justusgirlz talked me into going dancing at QXTs, the closest Goth club.
I've been working alot lately and haven't been in a relaxed mindset, so I decided to dress up with them and go.
I wore the cyber leather and silk miniskirt and a corset with a pink fishnet shirt under it. Most importantly, I wore the bright pink and white-gold cyberlockssyndalaluna made for me. It looked good, but when I arrived, no one else had cyberlocks---no one. "Oh no," I thought, "The trends change so fast and I don't pay much attention...cyberlocks have already come and gone. I probably look stupid to these kids." But it was OK, I figured. I like cyberlocks, and the whole point of the night was to dance and have fun. No big deal.
About 5 minutes after we got there a very nice young woman said hello, introduced herself and started talking to me. A few minutes later, another young woman (late teens or early twenties) came up and told me she liked my hair. "Cool," I thought. "People I don't know never talk to me here. This is a nice change." A little later, another young woman chased me down to tell me how much she loved my hair and then dashed away. "OK," I said to myself, seizing on a paranoid thought from high school. "A bunch of girls are here together and they've decided how uncool I am, coming here in last year's hair. Clearly, they're amusing themselves by making fun of me."
After struggling with this for a few minutes, I decided I didn't care. "I'm not that uncool, awkward chubby girl from high school anymore. I like what I'm wearing and I'm going to have fun!" And I did---dancing like a mad woman on the floor and flinging myself around without a care.
When I sat down, another young woman stopped by to tell me how stunning I looked, how great my hair was and what an amazing outfit I was wearing. We talked and laughed for awhile and I made sure she knew how much I liked her bright yellow boots and cute schoolgirl outfit. I even told her about my paranoid theory and she gasped in astonishment. "Oh no!" she replied. "Most of the outfits here tonight are just average. Yours is wonderful!"
It was like this all night. Once I got over being utterly astounded, I really had fun. This is what I gathered:
1.syndalaluna, you are an amazing seamstress and costumer. One young woman specifically asked me to tell you this after I explained that you made the cyberlocks for me. She told me she had tried to make them herself, but hadn't been able to do it. I think you might be able to make some money doing this. I would be happy to carry cards for you when I go to QXTs.
2. You never know how things are going to unfold. My expectations were molded by old, outdated experiences, so it took me a bit to figure out what was really happening. It pays to stay open to new possibilities, because sometimes, the negative stuff you expect is just the result of your own tired projections. Staying relaxed and open can lead to new, happy surprises.
3. The Buddhists are right: life lessons are everywhere. You don't have to go looking for them. They come looking for you.
mage_imbroglio and justusgirlz talked me into going dancing at QXTs, the closest Goth club.I've been working alot lately and haven't been in a relaxed mindset, so I decided to dress up with them and go.
I wore the cyber leather and silk miniskirt and a corset with a pink fishnet shirt under it. Most importantly, I wore the bright pink and white-gold cyberlocks
syndalaluna made for me. It looked good, but when I arrived, no one else had cyberlocks---no one. "Oh no," I thought, "The trends change so fast and I don't pay much attention...cyberlocks have already come and gone. I probably look stupid to these kids." But it was OK, I figured. I like cyberlocks, and the whole point of the night was to dance and have fun. No big deal.About 5 minutes after we got there a very nice young woman said hello, introduced herself and started talking to me. A few minutes later, another young woman (late teens or early twenties) came up and told me she liked my hair. "Cool," I thought. "People I don't know never talk to me here. This is a nice change." A little later, another young woman chased me down to tell me how much she loved my hair and then dashed away. "OK," I said to myself, seizing on a paranoid thought from high school. "A bunch of girls are here together and they've decided how uncool I am, coming here in last year's hair. Clearly, they're amusing themselves by making fun of me."
After struggling with this for a few minutes, I decided I didn't care. "I'm not that uncool, awkward chubby girl from high school anymore. I like what I'm wearing and I'm going to have fun!" And I did---dancing like a mad woman on the floor and flinging myself around without a care.
When I sat down, another young woman stopped by to tell me how stunning I looked, how great my hair was and what an amazing outfit I was wearing. We talked and laughed for awhile and I made sure she knew how much I liked her bright yellow boots and cute schoolgirl outfit. I even told her about my paranoid theory and she gasped in astonishment. "Oh no!" she replied. "Most of the outfits here tonight are just average. Yours is wonderful!"
It was like this all night. Once I got over being utterly astounded, I really had fun. This is what I gathered:
1.
syndalaluna, you are an amazing seamstress and costumer. One young woman specifically asked me to tell you this after I explained that you made the cyberlocks for me. She told me she had tried to make them herself, but hadn't been able to do it. I think you might be able to make some money doing this. I would be happy to carry cards for you when I go to QXTs.2. You never know how things are going to unfold. My expectations were molded by old, outdated experiences, so it took me a bit to figure out what was really happening. It pays to stay open to new possibilities, because sometimes, the negative stuff you expect is just the result of your own tired projections. Staying relaxed and open can lead to new, happy surprises.
3. The Buddhists are right: life lessons are everywhere. You don't have to go looking for them. They come looking for you.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 03:24 am (UTC)Your cyberlocks were awesome on Sabrina, they even glowed under the blacklights! Sabrina was stunning, your locks made her the Belle of the Ball!!! It was great to watch the girls come up and complement her throughout the night :D
no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 06:59 am (UTC)Works like a charm. And I quickly learned, as you did, that dressing wild is a GREAT way to meet people! =) All one has to do is be responsive to the compliments and conversational gambits inevitably attracted by one's attire.
I have to say I'm floored to learn that you of all people feel any insecurity about how people see you. You're easily one of the loveliest people I've ever met-- I would see you strolling around FSG every year with your perfectly-put-together outfits and your parasol and think "she always looks so beautiful and elegant, just like a work of art!"-- but even more than that, you radiate such a warm and welcoming and friendly energy that it's impossible for anyone not to be put at their ease immediately around you. I have great trouble imagining anyone meeting you and not instantly seeing how awesome you are.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 08:54 am (UTC)O, as Robert Burns had it, to see ourselves as others see us.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 11:38 am (UTC)And vgnwtch is right; I've often struggled with self image issues. Like many people, I was a late bloomer and everthing before college was rough. I chose a first husband who didn't much care for my looks and let me know it, probably because it's easy to replicate the environment one knows.
Fortunately, both he and high school are part of my distant past and people who remind me of them are summarily dismissed from my life today. Mean people have no place in my life today. Still, I sometimes fall into those older patterns of thought.
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-14 08:55 am (UTC)I have been waiting years for you to recognise that other people see you as beautiful.
Better late than never ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 01:43 am (UTC)If there's a good Goth club anywhere worth traveling to, I am totally IN. Just let me know! I so miss dancing, and every place local to me closed a few years ago.