Good Parenting...Who Knew?

[sabrinamari]

When I starting listening to "The Millionaire Next Door," I did not expect to receive parenting advice.

Since Michael and I met, I've had some definite plans about Trent's college years and how I want to help him meet his goals as a young adult. Michael has had a few plans too, and boy, were they different.

What this book taught me, based on the research team's findings, was that I was all set to make a series of colossal mistakes. Michael, though, had it right.

And if Trent had been a girl, my strategies would have had the potential to REALLY screw up her head and cripple her independent spirit and her life.

So, if you are parents, or are planning to be parents soon, please read or listen to this book.

If you have a daughter, get this book TOMORROW and read/listen it!

The chapter that opened my eyes was the chapter on "Economic Outpatient Care", which is really a chapter about parenting, and helping your children become strong, free, independent and self confident.

Comments

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I don't think this advice means,"Kick your kids out at 18 and don't help them with tuition".

The one gift that really successful, well-adjusted folks got was...tuition. And Michael's parents let him live at home until he decided he wasn't going to go to college. then they told him that he needed to move out, support himself, and find out what to he wanted to do with his life. He was freaked out, but the one thing he always says now is,"That was the best thing they could ever have done for me."

And I do have an advanced degree from a good institution---it's been a huge piece of my identity.

But here's another thing I've been struggling with: I now believe that it has cost me as much as it has given me...maybe more.

I'm not saying that I regret all these years of training, but...if I could do it again, I might skip about 10 years of schooling.

I hate to say it, but an advanced degree is not everything I thought it would be.

And its cost: in family time, in money, in years of salary not collected, in years of no retirement money---was considerable.

I hate to say it, but...again, Michael may have been right there, too. He had a career option that he loved that required some short schooling at a modest institution, and he took it over his second option, which would have required a Ph.D.

He may have made the wiser choice.

But...I am here. I have a degree which *can* open many doors for me---but I'll have to use it in unconventional ways to get what I want.

That's OK. I will find a way to make my choices pay, and i will forge myself a wonderful, exciting path.

And that's really what this is about: choosing experiences for yourself and your children that encourage them to forge ahead in courageous, innovative ways, rather than conditioning yourself---and them---to just take the path of least resistance.