Amazing day
Oct. 19th, 2004 05:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariI won't pester folks with another long post. Feel free to ignore this one.
What a day...this morning's remarkable gift, 3 days to the revision due date, and a talk to do tonight? Can it get even more unbelievable?
Yes.
A talk with one supervisor gave the heads up that the head of CSHP has noticed my absences teaching the class that P., my advisor, pushed me to take. Another supervisor is not happy with the longer time it's taking me to turn projects for her around.
Thankfully, D. stuck up for me, explaining that I had said no to the class, but been pushed to do it by my diss advisor. She also explained that I was defending Oct. 29th and would be more present and effective after that date.
She thinks this helped, but I need to put in some serious hours starting Nov. 1.
Also, my advisor hasn't returned my calls or emails about talking before the defense.
So this is the deal:
1. I'm in trouble at work because I'm not turning things around the way I should. This is a correct assessment. I can't teach the class and revise the diss and keep up at work at the same time. You just can't work a full time job, a part time job and revise a dissertation well all at the same time.
2. P. and L.. or one or the other may have issues with the compromise revisions, and the defense may be difficult. P. has already asked me not to expect him to sign off after the defense---he told me last week that he may withhold his signature until, basically, I have satisfied both he and L on all counts, which may take some time after the defense itself.
3.There's not much I can do about this except:
a.) not flinch or panic
b.) be willing to sacrifice the job for the diss and accept that I may be censured or fired
c.) keep working on the revisions and turn them in Friday
d.) contact L., since P. does not seem to want to talk with me, and try to get her help getting me through
at the defense
e.) accept that there will be consequences for all of my choices, and that I cannot meet all the demands being made---so simply understand that I may have to choose where to fail, instead of whether to fail.
f.) remember that this is, in the end, just a job, just a set of end-stage Ph.D crises, and that that none of these things define me or hit me in the center of my being, or touch me at my core
g.) pray, end let it go.
So that's what I'll do.
Today's gifts were very good, and today's challenges are mostly about accepting reality and not flinching. That's livable. I'll take it. .
What a day...this morning's remarkable gift, 3 days to the revision due date, and a talk to do tonight? Can it get even more unbelievable?
Yes.
A talk with one supervisor gave the heads up that the head of CSHP has noticed my absences teaching the class that P., my advisor, pushed me to take. Another supervisor is not happy with the longer time it's taking me to turn projects for her around.
Thankfully, D. stuck up for me, explaining that I had said no to the class, but been pushed to do it by my diss advisor. She also explained that I was defending Oct. 29th and would be more present and effective after that date.
She thinks this helped, but I need to put in some serious hours starting Nov. 1.
Also, my advisor hasn't returned my calls or emails about talking before the defense.
So this is the deal:
1. I'm in trouble at work because I'm not turning things around the way I should. This is a correct assessment. I can't teach the class and revise the diss and keep up at work at the same time. You just can't work a full time job, a part time job and revise a dissertation well all at the same time.
2. P. and L.. or one or the other may have issues with the compromise revisions, and the defense may be difficult. P. has already asked me not to expect him to sign off after the defense---he told me last week that he may withhold his signature until, basically, I have satisfied both he and L on all counts, which may take some time after the defense itself.
3.There's not much I can do about this except:
a.) not flinch or panic
b.) be willing to sacrifice the job for the diss and accept that I may be censured or fired
c.) keep working on the revisions and turn them in Friday
d.) contact L., since P. does not seem to want to talk with me, and try to get her help getting me through
at the defense
e.) accept that there will be consequences for all of my choices, and that I cannot meet all the demands being made---so simply understand that I may have to choose where to fail, instead of whether to fail.
f.) remember that this is, in the end, just a job, just a set of end-stage Ph.D crises, and that that none of these things define me or hit me in the center of my being, or touch me at my core
g.) pray, end let it go.
So that's what I'll do.
Today's gifts were very good, and today's challenges are mostly about accepting reality and not flinching. That's livable. I'll take it. .
