Thoughts about Susan Boyle

[sabrinamari]

OK, I just had to give an opinion, and it's a little different from the popular one.

I did watch the clip, although I really hate reality shows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-KiGva9dV4

And it's true that the audience behaved badly, and the judges were cruel, and yes, the first part of the video showcased the audience's ugliness.

But there were other things in that video, too. Susan didn't just show them all. She brought a moment of transcendence and understanding to a group of people stuck in a terrible, bad place: a stunted place, an ugly place.

She brought healing, and understanding, for just a moment. And many have pointed out that this one moment will probably be insufficient to change who people are. There will still be meanness. There will still be cruelty.

But how do people change, except through many moments of understanding and transcendence strung together? How else can transformation happen?

It is easy, and even comforting, to express your anger at the people who treated Susan so badly. And it's good to speak your truth.

But let me ask you honestly...

Who among you has never been so cruel?

I have. I have been desperately, heart-wrenchingly, horribly cruel.

I have.

When I was small I remember standing in a ring with other children, taunting a poor little soul, sad and bereft, standing alone in the middle. We tormented her with the chant," You're mother's ugly! Your mother's ugly!"

And I remember with perfect clarity her face collapse, and her quiet, shaky voice say, "I know she's ugly."

I remember what I did and I will never, never forget it.

That moment has been a huge part of shaping who I am. That little girl was my teacher and my mentor, and at the age of 5 or 6, she set me on the path to becoming a minister and a Priestess at great personal cost. Partly because of her, I am a person trying every day to learn true compassion.

Have mercy, too, on the cruel. They are all of us.

Comments

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

I wasn't really all that angry at the people who mocked Susan. Instead, I was happy for them: they got the chance to see that beyond their little world, outside of their experience, there was great beauty that they couldn't ignore. I can't imagine that there were many of them who weren't changed by that. They're fortunate to have that happen to them. Many people never learn that.

[yoga-matt.livejournal.com]

Bunny you are so right and so wise.

I think the most challenging thing about being a prejudice researcher is that because I study injustice, I see it all the time. Given this, my default is to experience anger and subsequently become judgmental myself. So it makes sense that when I saw the clip, all I could focus on was the injustice and the anger that followed.

This is why my spiritual life is so important, particularly the cultivation of compassion, which to me, is the antithesis of prejudgment.

Thank for for reminding me of the healing and transformation that arose from the injustice.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

{{{mattie}}}

[evaelisabeth.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite moments of the video is when Simon goes from surprise to amazement and then tips over into genuine delight, that was marvelous.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I so loved this!

[faedaughter.livejournal.com]

I missed all the angry posts ;p (or maybe I didn’t “miss” them eh?) I saw the clip (thanks onyxtwilight!). I was moved by her performance (which was very much like watching an underdog win at a sport… hmmm…) but just as moved by the awe, the admiration, the respect, and the humility that were clear on the judge’s faces through the whole thing.

I think Susan Boyle knows exactly who she is, and knew that her outer appearance would be met with....skepticism. She had verve and sass walking on to that stage! She knew she was going rock their world, and she did it without bitterness, irony, or smugness. How marvelously self-possessed she was!

I think the little blonde judge was startlingly honest when she actually said the audience was “not on her side”. She didn't try to gloss over anything, or excuse or deny the shallowness in herself or in the viewing audience. She openly acknowledged the lesson she was receiving. I mean WOW! Verbal acknowledgement of humility lesson in public… that’s pretty dang cool. All of the judges knew they had been righteously schooled by a very ordinary looking person, with an extraordinary gift, and said so.

I guess I found it hard to be mad at people who are willing to admit their mistake, own their failing, and honor and praise true talent and skill even when it comes in a surprising package. Who’s to know if this lesson will carry forward for those judges, or for any viewers who were so willing to judge by appearance alone, but it might! And you are so right about that sabrinamari, it just doesn’t happen any other way. It seems like a bit ole win-win situation to me. :)

[faedaughter.livejournal.com]

I just rewatched the clip again... you know, she won them over almost instantly. First line...

and as quick as everyone was to by sckeptical, they were just as quick to stand, and cheer.

I think we are all looking for opportunities to be moved out of our cynicism.

[faedaughter.livejournal.com]

You got me thinking... ;p

Anyway, I have identified the thing that it most moving about the clip... if you look at the faces and bodies of the judges as they are listening... they sigh, their bodies relax, they smile... it pure joy they are experiencing... totally involved by the performance and experiencing the incredibly transformative and universal power of art... true beauty shines through as moments like that and we are all humbled and amazed..

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

This, too, is what I saw, and what I loved. I watched this transformation and felt this tremendous gratitude to be able to see it for myself.

I too, was moved by the blonde judge's honesty. To me, it seemed that she just told the bare truth, and acknowledged how blind she and others had been. I want to be able to do that when I am a jerk.

Isn't it just sheer pleasure to see the transition from ugliness to joy...from blindness to sheer delight in the amazing truth...

[hypanebliss.livejournal.com]

This is a great post! You always inspire me so much to think and to change. :)

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

I've been on the receiving end of cruelty all too often in my life. People who are too quick to judge because of appearance, because of pre-conceived notions about who and what I am or what my hopes and dreams are. I chose not to let it make me bitter, or become cruel in turn. I've worked at developing patience and a slow tongue, even though I have a terrible temper. I'd rather walk away from conflict and be seen as weak, rather than cause damage by indulging my nature.

This has not been an immediate process, and it's still in progress. But I understand, all too well, what cruelty does, and I try to avoid it and show compassion for others as well as myself.

How many will remember the lesson taught? Sadly, I'm afraid not many. We just have to keep trying.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

{{{sligoe}}}

ugly and proud of it

[tracyandrook.livejournal.com]

Your narrative of the original video makes the event sound pre-packaged, like some producer said somewhere: "Our ratings are flat. Let's have next week be 'Underdog week' and create an edifying wholesome morality tale about judgement...You, go out and find me a real dog who can sing."
Not to brag, but I never got interested in the whole Idol thing, because I know that it's about showbiz people. These are expected to be tall, thin, and have fluffy hair and straight white teeth and a little too much energy than is honest, because that's part of the showmanship of the win. It's bread and circuses. Ms. Boyle is a "token ugly".

Re: ugly and proud of it

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Watch the video on YouTube. Try typing in Susan Boyle Britain's Got Talent. I am not saying that your analysis is incorrect, but I am saying that there are deeper, richer veins of analysis that are also useful and correct.

These other levels of truth are valuable and have applications beyond the simple example of this one case.

Collect a little more data...it never hurts to look deeper. You never know what you might find.

Re: ugly and proud of it

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, rethinking this, I must say that I do not believe that Ms. Boyle is 'token ugly'.

I do not know the intent of the show's producers and I cannot speak to what they attempted to create---or not---with Ms. Boyle.

But I do know that in the presence of the sacred, all bets are off. When tremendous beauty and truth emerge, they transcend whatever plans local groups of humans have made.

Those moment are difficult to script and hard to create; the best one can do is attempt to set the stage that invites them to come and then relax.

I think, reading the body language and voice of the audience and singer, that there was no planned attempt to set the stage for the extraordinary moment of sacredness that happened.

It was a gift: a gift to everyone, channeled through the medium of Ms. Baker's talent and bravery.

But that's just my 2 cents. :)

Re: ugly and proud of it

[tracyandrook.livejournal.com]

Well I have felt crabby ever since posting that. And even if something is quite fake, the effect it can produce is quite real. I would cancel the post if it were on my own page.

Re: ugly and proud of it

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

Hey honey, it's OK. Put down the stick---it's OK. Life is good, and so are you.

Also, I just noticed your heading...you are very cute, my friend, and much, much loved. So there!

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

Very well put...

Even though I suffered a lot of that kind of nastiness growing up, I'm still quite sure I dealt a bit of it at least. I think it's OK to be disgusted with the behavior of the judges and the audience- but don't "other" them, either. Don't make them "enemy" and "not like me" and "bad". Don't lose compassion. Lack of compassion is what makes that sort of bad behavior possible, what makes it sell.

Aside from all that, there was some kind of magic in her voice that night, and in her face. In the end, that's what I'm going to concentrate on...