Groundhogs, gardening and soldiers in Iraq: Handling suffering and regret

[sabrinamari]

We caught Crabby on Sunday and released him in the Watchung reservation. It pains me to think of it: he was so scared that he kept slamming himself into the sides of the Havahart cage until he had scraped alot of skin off his sensitive nose and the raw pink flesh showed underneath.

I hate that he suffered so much. I hope he's OK. I miss seeing him and I'm worried that he's suffering, scared and alone in a new and strange place.

I hate that I was responsible for this.

Gardening is less exciting because it makes me think of how miserable Crabby was until we were able to get him to the reservation. He had to spend some hours in the cage because I was in the mini-van traveling home from Pema. When I got home, we transported him and released him right away, but his suffering is on my mind.

I am going to sprinkle groundhog repellant all over the lawn to try and keep other groundhogs away so we don't have to do this again. Just because a trap is designed to be humane doesn't mean it keeps the trapped animal from suffering.

Pema told several important stories about living with the suffering you have caused over the weekend: she has had the privilege of working with soldiers who were posted in Iraq, and their stories of suffering are both profound and terrible. She was able to offer them some comfort and wisdom, and what she said was really useful, but I don't have the heart to post any of it now.

I will post this material sometime later, under a cut, because it is really, really painful and I want people to be able to avoid reading it if they're feeling emotionally shaky.

May all beings enjoy happiness and the root of all happiness, and may they avoid suffering and the root of all suffering.

Comments

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

Ah, love---all living things suffer at one point in time or another. You caused him a little suffering so that he could go to a safer place. He will be fine---Mother Earth takes care of her own, in her fashion. His fear is what caused his suffering, and since you can't reason with him, he would suffer no matter what you said or did.

The alternative would be to poison him, or get a trap that would kill him. These are not acceptable alternatives---you did the right thing for this creature.

Hugs. If you need to talk, I'm always here.

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

When Matthieu Ricard spoke last month (was it only last month? Maybe it was two months ago.) he spoke of suffering as well. How important it is to be present with it, to let it open us up to transform that suffering in ourself. It is excitingly dangerous to work with suffering. I am looking forward to what Pema said.

[diekonigin.livejournal.com]

I could certainly deal with learning the useful words of wisdom that she's used with the soldiers. I've been working with one myself and that's been a challenge after 9 deaths in their unit and 28 more sent home wounded.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I will do it soon, dear. I send you a huge hug: this is so challenging but so important!

{{{{mispandora}}}}

[diekonigin.livejournal.com]

I was *just* typing in my own journal that I need to reach out to you for this. I have the need to create some sort of ritual for my deployed friend who is really carrying a large burden of profound loss and grief over the continued losses in his unit. He's asked me to journey with him and, while I felt directionless, your simply saying that you had a resource is the first step to me knowing how to move forward and help him heal.

And on a more personal note, I have found myself consciously trying to be more authentic with myself and with others...accepting what *is*, accepting feelings (my own and others) and giving those feelings space and sitting with it, even when it's uncomfortable or unfamiliar. I have you to thank for that.

[zammis.livejournal.com]

thanks for sharing Pema. I hope to see her in person someday: in the meantime, her books and cds are wonderful tools. :)

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

Crabby could have fared worse. If he had been trapped by a commercial wildlife handler he would have been drowned in a barrel. He is lucky to have been removed by you and your honey.

Come visit me. We'll walk up to the Masonic building and watch the groundhogs happily munching on the hill. I saw a tiny baby rustling his way through the grass a few days ago.

I'm sort of not really on the way home from FSG. B&B & co are spending the night with me Sunday. Wanna make a stop on your way home and get fed something lovely?