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sabrinamariI am happy this morning.
I can see so many people around me moving productively, and I myself am moving productively! This month's full moons and Grand Trine are busting out all over. Being surrounded by so much progress makes me feel like that character in the Monty Python movie who just wants to SING!
Even though I can see all of us struggling with some kind of conflict---or maybe BECAUSE I see us all grappling productively with conflict---I feel dizzy with happiness.
My own conflicts have been around my weight, which is going up and down like crazy, challenging me to stay focused and on track while I make fitness progress, and on keeping my center while others grapple with their issues.
Yesterday I really saw---really, really understood, on a visceral level---why I can't help people move through their issues when I haven't dealt very well with my own. I got a chance to sit with someone through a rough patch, and notice how in the past, some of that stuff would have triggered my own issues.
If that had happened, I couldn't have stayed calm and centered, listening and not taking anything personally. In the past, I would sometimes take things personally, get triggered, and go off on a defensive course----rendering me utterly USELESS to the person who really needed me to stay calm, hold the space, and be clear enough to say something useful. And yesterday, I was able to do that.
I am *so* delighted to see myself making progress. And I'm feeling strong, good feelings about the many friends around me who are courageously stepping up to the plate and tackling their challenges with a determined and open heart, with such great success.
Happy sigh.
EDIT: My butt really hurts from the long hilly walk I took with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catpaw67 yesterday. It feels GREAT!
I can see so many people around me moving productively, and I myself am moving productively! This month's full moons and Grand Trine are busting out all over. Being surrounded by so much progress makes me feel like that character in the Monty Python movie who just wants to SING!
Even though I can see all of us struggling with some kind of conflict---or maybe BECAUSE I see us all grappling productively with conflict---I feel dizzy with happiness.
My own conflicts have been around my weight, which is going up and down like crazy, challenging me to stay focused and on track while I make fitness progress, and on keeping my center while others grapple with their issues.
Yesterday I really saw---really, really understood, on a visceral level---why I can't help people move through their issues when I haven't dealt very well with my own. I got a chance to sit with someone through a rough patch, and notice how in the past, some of that stuff would have triggered my own issues.
If that had happened, I couldn't have stayed calm and centered, listening and not taking anything personally. In the past, I would sometimes take things personally, get triggered, and go off on a defensive course----rendering me utterly USELESS to the person who really needed me to stay calm, hold the space, and be clear enough to say something useful. And yesterday, I was able to do that.
I am *so* delighted to see myself making progress. And I'm feeling strong, good feelings about the many friends around me who are courageously stepping up to the plate and tackling their challenges with a determined and open heart, with such great success.
Happy sigh.
EDIT: My butt really hurts from the long hilly walk I took with
catpaw67 yesterday. It feels GREAT!
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Woo and Woo Again
Date: 2008-04-25 02:50 pm (UTC)And don't worry, I will rub away the butt pain for you.
Re: Woo and Woo Again
Date: 2008-04-25 03:16 pm (UTC)(((hug)))
Date: 2008-04-25 06:16 pm (UTC)I don't remember to tell you that often enough. It's a delight to have you in my circle of friends, and I have tremendous amounts of respect and admiration for you.