Just being happy: parents, play, life

[sabrinamari]

My parents are coming to visit today. They were mercifully delayed, so unpacking and cleaning have been happening, thank the Gods.

I don't know what the visit will be like. My mom has no love lost for mage_imbroglio for reasons that are only partially transparent. My dad likes him, but both are worried for me and I cannot blame them, seeing as my last selection in a life partner was so clearly unsuitable.

However...I am really happy, and treated like a goddess every day. It's hard to argue with that.

On other fronts, I have been playing my favorite video game in stolen moments and enjoying it immensely. It makes me happy. I wish I could occasionally make it a 2-or more-player game, and I mentioned this to my honey this morning. My bunny said he would happily play with me as soon as he completes his financial plan for the year and has some available cash with which to play.

Yay! I get to choose investments with another person! It's fun constructing a portfolio alone (shall I plan to buy the slinky little black Small Cap or the classic wide-legged taupe Blue Chip? Both would be valuable additions to my collection. Oh, the fun of creating an elegant wardro---uh, portfolio...)

Even though I don't have available cash to invest right now, I can still plan for the future. It's almost as much fun as doing the actual buying. And then, when you have the cash, you know exactly what to do with it and why.

Sometimes I wish I had an investment club. It's sad when you don't get to share the joy of your hobby with friends. Plus, it's an old adage that people get wealthy in groups, so I guess as I get more into my game, I need a cohort.

Oh, I forgot---today I get to choose a new Third-World entrepreneur to fund at kiva.org. One of my original micro loans was paid off yesterday and I can now re-loan the money (thanks for the heads up, wylddelirium). Oh boy!

I guess that even if my parents decide they hate my chosen life, I will have plenty to keep me happy.

Comments

If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

I would be in it. Maybe there are others in NJ who would want to get together from time to time and talk about building wealth. We could sit in a Starbucks somewhere and dish about stocks, hold each other accountable for our spending and saving habits, and give each other research homework.

and in other matters....will your mom ever approve of a partner you choose?

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I'm having a mental orgasm at the picture you just painted me.

I guess I need to learn about investment clubs so I know how to create one. I have no idea, yet, how to start, but sharing this with people I love and like would just be too cool for words.

And you know, maybe not. Myabe she'd never approve of anyone who wasn't just like her.

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[jasminewind.livejournal.com]

This is a club I would love to join as well.

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[elphaba-of-oz.livejournal.com]

Since I am centrally located, (just as much of a pain in the butt for you to get here as it is for Sabri) I propose that our investment club meet here.

I will put you up and feed you. You will be happy.

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[jasminewind.livejournal.com]

I solidly endorse this idea. I want to be fed and happy! I also want to be rich and loved, how rare to find a single event that intersects all of these needs!

We should set a month during which we plan to meet and just get started. Otherwise it will turn into a nice idea that never went anywhere.

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

OK, this gets added to the long list of things I want to plot with you...uh, talk with you about.

Re: If you want an investment club, why don't you just make one?

[paganpilgrim.livejournal.com]

I too would be ready within this next year to talk more with you about investments... the circumstances under which I will be coming into a bit of money are going to be so painful that i want to have a plan well before the emotional nightmare really ensues. Also, in two years I will be vested with CU and I need to choose my monies homes... i only know what vested means because of your encouragement to read suzie orman, i am a little remedial in the money world...

[seedmoon.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that your mom doesn't like mage_imbroglio, the guy is total charisma. He's one of the most likeable people I've met in a long time.
Plus its clear that he believes, and rightly so, that the sun rises and sets at your feet.

Do you know how hard it is for those of us that love you to accept someone as "good enough" for you? The fact that everyone I've talked to approves of him is no small feat on his part.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

You're right. He is one of a small group of men whom I utterly and completely adore: My dad, my brother, you, wild_place_king, and him.

But this is what I think I know about her concerns, via my dad:

1. He's funeral director and deals with the dead and dead bodies. apparently, this is really stigmatizing in Costa Rica. My mom reacts to him as though he is from a social class that I shouldn't even have contact with.

2. He doesn't have a Ph.D. Even worse, he isn't an academic of any kind. This is apparently a big problem: a woman with a Ph.D. selecting a partner without one. It's crazy: this means that he will make an actual, decent salary with a 401K option and his industry is a guarantee of of ongoing demand. With a Ph.D., I will have to scramble along in a low, low demand industry with either no 401k or a bad 401k (TIAA-CREF, dear gods!) and zero gurantee of future employment in my field.

It makes no rational sense!

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

1. People can be a little odd about it here. It's a service pretty much everyone will need, and goodness knows we refuse to deal with death ourselves, but we still treat undertakers like they're slightly weird.

2. M will always be a good man. He can become an academic if he wants to, being scarily bright and determined; on the other hand, not every academic can become a good person just because they fancy it.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

And I am so grateful that those of you who love me have high standards for my honey...and that he meets those standards!

Yay!

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

He's right, of course. Perhaps your mother is unwilling to believe that any man you choose will not hurt you as you have been hurt until she has lots of evidence to the contrary - maybe years' worth. Parents can be weird like that.

I confess that, early on, I told M I'd break every bone in his body if he hurt you. He looked rather startled, but said he took it seriously. But the look in his eye satisfied me - no guilt there, no fear, just "Yes, Sabri's friends love her and I will of course take care of her." He's a good man, and I don't say it lightly. I promise I wasn't just being horrible.

[catpaw67.livejournal.com]

I would love to be in an investment club with you. I can probably invest some money now. We should talk!

hi there

[gwisteria.livejournal.com]

well i know nothing of money really but i live vicariously thru your talk of it...and as far as your mom, totally get it, my mom isn't like that but it helps she was illegimate and treated as such in costa rica in the 50's but my aunts are really bad about class stuff(as they precieve it) but also remember there is alot of lore in costa rica about the dead, pregnant women should never see dead people or animals, my mom begged me not to go to a funeral of someone i loved becasue of this lingering fear, the funeral director's kids used to go to school in different town then where they lived so as not to be treated badly, little kids are not allowed to go to funerals becasue they are too close to the "other side", this pissed me off as i t meant my grandmother on her death bed made my mom promise not to let me or my brother go to her funeral, its kinda sad i know that my grandmother and my aunts were and are very educated but they acted like its a contagion.

[deboranter.livejournal.com]

Maybe they will see how happy you are and have much love for the fact that even though its an odd lifestyle to them, it keeps their daughter happy and Mage treats their daughter like a queen and then they will be ok with it all.

[deboranter.livejournal.com]

Also I should have a little money to invest in a few months and would love to be in an investment club with you. I have to learn it all and what not but its on my list of goals to accomplish.

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

Count me in as well on the investment club. I'm selling the house and need a place to put a little money where it will do me some real good!

I'd Be Interested In An Investment Club

[daurdabla.livejournal.com]

Might be hard to do from halfway across the country, though.

What's the video game? Just curious; if it's a guilty pleasure, skip merrily past this question. Or is it related to investing?

I'm fortunate that my parents loved veshengri right away; I hope yours will come to see what a good guy mage_imbroglio is and how happy you are with him. I can see people being a little weirded out by someone who works in his field, but as long as you love him and he loves you, everything else should fall by the wayside. Hopeless romantic, I am...

Who would like to meet this paragon at some point. Maybe FSG or FG next year?

[quiet-wyatt72.livejournal.com]

Mom and Dad really think the world of you. And they really can't help but think historically about the partners you've chosen, rather than celebrate your happiness in the moment and recent narrative you've built. Its not fair, I know. But Mom is convinced that no one is good enough for you anyway. We talked a little about this, and I reminded her than a PhD is neither necessary nor sufficient for being a good partner--witness John Joseph. :) Also, they've always had to deal with the aftermath of those relationships when they disintegrate, and that can color their perspective as well. And given her cultural biases about those who interact physically (rather than spiritually) with the dead, it will take more time for her to come to terms with your partner. But if he continues to treat you wonderfully, I think they will both eventually come around. It will take some time.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

And they really can't help but think historically about the partners you've chosen, rather than celebrate your happiness in the moment and recent narrative you've built.

Family, more than anyone else, do tend to see us in terms of our histories rather than who we are and how we live now. And parents have a horrible time trying to move from being the parents of children to the parents of adults - as my mother said, "You grow up and you're still my babies, and I want everything to be perfect for you." (by which, of course, she means her idea of perfect).