My first practice
May. 13th, 2005 08:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariI've been assigned my first practice at work. It's a big one---an 8-doctor practice about an hour from here. Today I'll go with the Principle Investigator and attend his presentation introducing our project to the group. I will probably only listen and say hello when I am introduced as the field reseracher who will be working with them.
The other new facilitators are a little intimidated, a little afraid. Each has a practice now to begin with, all pretty small. I am not afraid. I cannot wait! I can't wait to slide into that office and devour the place with my eyes---talk to everyone, pry open all the little places of interesting dysfunction and unexpected strength. I want to see how they treat patients; I want to see how they treat each other. I want to coax them into giving up all the secrets that i can then use later to help them forge a stronger office, a stronger practice---and my super-secret agenda, entirely outside of the research project----stronger, more empowered selves.
I cannot believe that I am being paid to do this magic in public.
I cannot believe that i am going to be sent in to do my stuff in unsuspecting practice after practice, finally having a chance to effect change, to midwife it, in a place that i care about so much. For years, I have been struggling with the problem of how to effect change in our primary health care system. Now, i am being offered the chance to do it again and again and again. The opportunity hypnotizes me, like a delicious, dripping morsel dangling temptingly right in front of my face. But I have to be careful. I have to be subtle. This will be an act of seduction more than a exercise of force or of will. I will have to lure them in. It's perfect.
I can't wait.
The other new facilitators are a little intimidated, a little afraid. Each has a practice now to begin with, all pretty small. I am not afraid. I cannot wait! I can't wait to slide into that office and devour the place with my eyes---talk to everyone, pry open all the little places of interesting dysfunction and unexpected strength. I want to see how they treat patients; I want to see how they treat each other. I want to coax them into giving up all the secrets that i can then use later to help them forge a stronger office, a stronger practice---and my super-secret agenda, entirely outside of the research project----stronger, more empowered selves.
I cannot believe that I am being paid to do this magic in public.
I cannot believe that i am going to be sent in to do my stuff in unsuspecting practice after practice, finally having a chance to effect change, to midwife it, in a place that i care about so much. For years, I have been struggling with the problem of how to effect change in our primary health care system. Now, i am being offered the chance to do it again and again and again. The opportunity hypnotizes me, like a delicious, dripping morsel dangling temptingly right in front of my face. But I have to be careful. I have to be subtle. This will be an act of seduction more than a exercise of force or of will. I will have to lure them in. It's perfect.
I can't wait.
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Date: 2005-05-13 01:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-13 03:18 pm (UTC)--
CM
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Date: 2005-05-13 03:45 pm (UTC)Don't know why, but my shamansense is telling me to say this: As you seduce your way deep into the egregore of these organizations and tempt them into juicy, self-realizing transformation to benefit all, remember that power over anything is sorcerous. We must have power with, even if we don't understand or if we disagree with the other. That's the only way to stop the wheel from spinning. Even if you already know this, you will have to reform the hierarchy addicts - most especially those addicted to being at the bottom of the heap and sacrificing all their personal power to those on the top to avoid the responsibility of independent action.
Hope that means something to you. Peace and blessings, love and gratitude.