Breaking Habitual Patterns
Jul. 24th, 2008 08:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabrinamariYesterday I noticed a new pattern: I am starting to be OK with pissing people off, particularly when it happens as a result of taking care of myself/prioritizing my own needs. This is an important sign of growth.
I have a longstanding pattern of being a people pleaser. In the past, I would work terribly hard to please the people I cared about, even if hurt my interests to do so. It was also very hard for me to simply accept their angry, disapproving feelings and move ahead with plans that were great for me, but didn't work well for them.
But in the last several weeks, I've repeatedly faced the displeasure of people I care about in order to prioritize my own needs and move ahead towards goals that are important to me. I can think of three---four--- such friends off of the top of my head.
Hearing their displeasure, I've been able to acknowledge it, listen to them and affirm the importance of their feelings while still continuing on the course that's right for me.
I think I'm growing up.
As Scott Smith says on "Motivation to Move", I have to decide my own course and then stick to it, because every day I will encounter perfectly lovely people, including good friends, who have their own plans for me and my time. And if I don't respect my goals enough to hold to them, how can I reach them?
What a great opportunity to learn how to set better boundaries.
Now I'm pleased. :)
I have a longstanding pattern of being a people pleaser. In the past, I would work terribly hard to please the people I cared about, even if hurt my interests to do so. It was also very hard for me to simply accept their angry, disapproving feelings and move ahead with plans that were great for me, but didn't work well for them.
But in the last several weeks, I've repeatedly faced the displeasure of people I care about in order to prioritize my own needs and move ahead towards goals that are important to me. I can think of three---four--- such friends off of the top of my head.
Hearing their displeasure, I've been able to acknowledge it, listen to them and affirm the importance of their feelings while still continuing on the course that's right for me.
I think I'm growing up.
As Scott Smith says on "Motivation to Move", I have to decide my own course and then stick to it, because every day I will encounter perfectly lovely people, including good friends, who have their own plans for me and my time. And if I don't respect my goals enough to hold to them, how can I reach them?
What a great opportunity to learn how to set better boundaries.
Now I'm pleased. :)
