Home and thinking of away

[sabrinamari]

I'm home now, and it is good.

Coming back last night was like taking the ferry back across the river Styx. It felt endless, my taxi moving slowly through the sea of rush hour cars amidst the blinking Christmas lights of the city. I had felt for days as if I had always been in the waiting room and would always be there, and leaving was like swimming up upwards through a long surreal stretch of translucent molasses.

On the train I found myself repeatedly flashing through the pictures on my cell phone. For some reason, just as I was preparing to go, I felt the strong urge to take the place and the people with me. I took a series of photos: the waiting room and our people in it, the computer nook, the doors to the ICU, the machinery, Cat at George's bedside, and pictures of George.

I understand why seeing him now is no comfort at all to so many. I don't understand why taking photos of him now is a comfort to me. I'm not asking why. I'm just bringing him, and Cat, and all the people I love in that place back over the river here with me.

Comments

[deboranter.livejournal.com]

hugs
love

thank you for all the updates

[mark7blue.livejournal.com]

Thanks Sabrina, that's beautiful. Hugs

[hypanebliss.livejournal.com]

*nod* Actually, I think that makes sense on a lot of levels why that is comforting. And it ties into the river Styx. You are remembering. If anything, that is one of the greatest ways we have of honoring our loved ones. Telling their stories. Now or when they are gone.

Much love to you! And to M's ass!

[oakleaves.livejournal.com]

Thank you for everything you're doing...

[faelandarach.livejournal.com]

Thanks for keeping us posted...I don't really deal well with this sort of thing, which is why I haven't been real communicative about all this. But it's been helping, a little. I've considered whether to maybe try and go up there, to visit or something...but I can't take off any more days from work until late June (at least not paid days, and I need every penny right now), and I've also just gotten over being sick, so I probably shouldn't go up. But you're all in my thoughts and hopes, for what that's worth...I don't really know how to "send energy" or anything like that, but I will try and do what I can.

*hugs* & BB
Trent