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A hard-to-write love letter to my friends
Nov. 30th, 2011 11:08 amToday and yesterday *many* of my friends and collaborators have gotten in touch with me to ask about re-connecting. Some have been supportive and encouraging. Some seem to feel ignored and slighted. This latter response makes me sad. I want you to understand, clearly, why I haven't responded and what's going on with me.
The take-home message here: the last time I had more than a short stint of unspoken-for time was on Thursday, November 17th.
Two weekends ago, I prepared, cleaned and hosted for two visitors and then immediately began the week by preparing to leave my job for six days. In general, I've also stepped up and am taking much more responsibility for both child care and household cleaning than I have in the past, in order to free Michael to really focus on the success he's experiencing in his business. That's good, but it takes a lot of time and energy.
With my parents, I was able to really focus on them and on my relationships with them. I worked hard to learn from that visit. Thank you, everyone who texted me with loving support! I so, so, SO appreciate it!
After my return Monday night, I immediately began preparing for a big World AIDS Day talk on Thursday as well as an important Tuesday afternoon meeting. Yesterday was rough. This morning I finally mailed my talk Power Points off at 8:30. Today I'm turning around some work for Ben, walking through the talk verbally *and* preparing for a UMDNJ magazine photo shoot in the afternoon. Right after that---and I do mean RIGHT AFTERWARDS---I need to run home, re-pack my bag, and jump in the car with Michael to head to Bethlehem, PA for the talk tomorrow.
So, the last time I had more than a short stint of unspoken-for time was on Thursday, November 17th.
Please understand: if I haven't contacted you back over the last two weeks, or responded to your requests for something, it is at least partly because I've been working very hard to meet all of my responsibilities.
I don't mind telling you that it's a challenge. I cope by spending most of my free time writing, exercising, and loving my family. I could use *lots* more of that kind of time.
I will try to call, text, email and respond to everyone who has contacted me recently today and tomorrow. Please be patient.
I appreciate your patience. Thank you, especially, for being kind.
For those of you who haven't been patient, or for whom this lag time has provoked (repeated) anger: please rethink being in relationship with me.
If it is causing you pain to be in my life, knowing that I will not be able to respond to you in the way that you would like, maybe that is a sign that you should re-examine our connection. If you find yourself speaking to me or interacting with me from a place of anger, contempt or rage because I am not meeting your needs, then something is very wrong, and it's not good for either of us.
The bottom line: I am willing to let you go if our connection is not serving both of us.
love,
Sabri
The take-home message here: the last time I had more than a short stint of unspoken-for time was on Thursday, November 17th.
Two weekends ago, I prepared, cleaned and hosted for two visitors and then immediately began the week by preparing to leave my job for six days. In general, I've also stepped up and am taking much more responsibility for both child care and household cleaning than I have in the past, in order to free Michael to really focus on the success he's experiencing in his business. That's good, but it takes a lot of time and energy.
With my parents, I was able to really focus on them and on my relationships with them. I worked hard to learn from that visit. Thank you, everyone who texted me with loving support! I so, so, SO appreciate it!
After my return Monday night, I immediately began preparing for a big World AIDS Day talk on Thursday as well as an important Tuesday afternoon meeting. Yesterday was rough. This morning I finally mailed my talk Power Points off at 8:30. Today I'm turning around some work for Ben, walking through the talk verbally *and* preparing for a UMDNJ magazine photo shoot in the afternoon. Right after that---and I do mean RIGHT AFTERWARDS---I need to run home, re-pack my bag, and jump in the car with Michael to head to Bethlehem, PA for the talk tomorrow.
So, the last time I had more than a short stint of unspoken-for time was on Thursday, November 17th.
Please understand: if I haven't contacted you back over the last two weeks, or responded to your requests for something, it is at least partly because I've been working very hard to meet all of my responsibilities.
I don't mind telling you that it's a challenge. I cope by spending most of my free time writing, exercising, and loving my family. I could use *lots* more of that kind of time.
I will try to call, text, email and respond to everyone who has contacted me recently today and tomorrow. Please be patient.
I appreciate your patience. Thank you, especially, for being kind.
For those of you who haven't been patient, or for whom this lag time has provoked (repeated) anger: please rethink being in relationship with me.
If it is causing you pain to be in my life, knowing that I will not be able to respond to you in the way that you would like, maybe that is a sign that you should re-examine our connection. If you find yourself speaking to me or interacting with me from a place of anger, contempt or rage because I am not meeting your needs, then something is very wrong, and it's not good for either of us.
The bottom line: I am willing to let you go if our connection is not serving both of us.
love,
Sabri
