(no subject)

Grateful, happy and filled with quiet joy.

The gods love me

I love it when I really screw up and the gods throw me a bone! Three of the many important emails I should have returned came from a wonderful, kind, wise woman whom I should have written back IMMEDIATELY. I've been scrambling so hard I didn't---and honestly, she's so senior and so cool that I've been more than a little intimidated. Stupid, because she's been so playful and fun and complementary around me. Seriously, every time I thought about writing her back I'd think, "Damn, she's being so cool to ME? She's treating me like a friend?" And I'd just get intimidated and put it off.

Crazy---really crazy.

So I open my email, and there's another message from her----wanting to help me in an important way and not seeming to mind one bit that I'm answering her so late.

If I can just get over my shyness and frickin email her back, my most excellent life will be even better.

I don't have this problem when we're hanging out laughing and talking and enjoying each other's company, probably because it's so much fun. I can't be that intimidated while I'm rolling around laughing. But at a distance, I remember how senior and cool she is and get ridiculously bashful.

OK, I'm answering every one of her emails tonight.

Thank you, gods, for this second chance at something good.

EDIT: Done. And it was so easy---if only I had relaxed, taken a deep breath, and started to write, the stress would have quickly passed...