Contained?

[sabrinamari]

I dreamed I was trapped in a containment camp. I planned two escapes with people I care about, but at the last minute, they didn't show up and my vehicle and purse disappeared. I could see the breach in the wire fence and knew it wouldn't last long.

In the end, I ran back and grabbed a bag to throw in some food, an umbrella, a cloak and a few basics for keeping myself alive.

But I realized as I did it that I was deeply torn: save myself, but go alone? Or stay in the containment camp with everyone I cared about, and be trapped along with them?

I woke up while I was still stuffing survival tools into my bag. I didn't stay asleep long enough to know what I would actually decide to do.

I think this dream is true on multiple levels. My containment camp is both within me and outside of me. I need to change core circumstances in my life and I need to change my internal patterns. So far, I'm working hard to assemble my survival tools and get out. But I'm really unsure if anyone is coming with me. My unconscious seems to think I may be doing this alone.

Is that really true?

Is this a false dichotomy?

I don't know yet.

In other news, I spent almost a thousand dollars on a new professional wardrobe yesterday, and I set myself to the task of learning everything I could about how to master this set of tools.

It is clear that I am serious about escaping from this particular containment camp. One way or another, I will get out.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.