Curious patterns

[sabrinamari]

For reasons that I don't understand, people whom I've struggled to get along with or whom I've triggered/have triggered me in the past keep making their way back into my life.

It's an odd but consistent pattern over the last year. I'm curious about it.

In almost every case, I'm not doing anything in particular to encourage this; they're just wandering in by themselves via one path or another. I wonder what it's all about.

It will probably force me to grow as a human being.

Comments

[rebeccabeattie.livejournal.com]

I get a feeling there is something in this mercury retrograde that is making us look at issues that have been buried for some time, conflict that has been pushed underneath the surface are creeping (or exploding) out now... I have had a day of lawyers, and complaints and all sorts of argie bargie (at work thankfully!)

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. I know that I am experiencing this during this merc retrograde. *sigh*

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

It's oddly familiar (crooked grin).

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

I have experienced a similar situation that when I've done a bunch of personal work I'll have situations come up where I in essence get to prove that I really can apply what I've learned.

I hope your opportunity to "practice" simply strengthens you.

Love!

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Of course, otherwise you don't really own that work, right?
I just sometimes wish the universe gave me a little more time to really feel confident about it before those things came up.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I guess I get to find out how much of a grown up I am.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I think I'll pick up the Tao te Ching tonight. It never lets me down.

I do understand that I can't predict where things will go or what will happen. I'm also learning to question my judgements.

Two people whom I've held at a distance for several years are slowly becoming friends. I've begun to see that my initial understandings of them, and of the conflicts we experienced, were more about my ego and old anxieties than about reality. It was probably also about their stuff, whatever it is. But so what? How much of that was really important? Why allow it to keep me from friendships that could probably teach me a lot?

Another co-worker I've avoided for a long time has asked me for help, and in giving it, I've caught a glimpse of his gentler side. It will be much more difficult to dislike him now. It's hard to see someone as mean or to write them off when they show kindness, even for a few moments.

Dear Gods, at this rate I'll have to reassess the anger I've directed at my favorite nemesis, and if that happens...well, how will I retain my comfortable self-righteousness?

laughing at myself...

[hypatia42.livejournal.com]

"Just another f**king growth opportunity."

I've been noticing reoccurring patterns recently as well. Doing my best to learn from past mistakes and make new ones to learn from this time around!

[showingup.livejournal.com]

Fascinating, Captain, O My Captain.

It's like you get the chance to integrate all the work you've done.

And, yeah, being a grown up - only properly, not by just shoving all the stuff you feel as far down as you can, which is what a lot of people mean by "being grown up". Properly.

[lunarbitch.livejournal.com]

A very wise friend of mine mentioned once that a person she would rather not spend time with kept popping up in various groups and activities she was involved with. She said this with not with anger or annoyance, but more resignation. Then she sighed deeply and said she was obviously supposed to learn something from this person. She said it with such peaceful acceptance that I couldn't help be impressed by her willingness to let her life be guided by an urge to learn and grow even if she might have to put up with something or someone unpleasant to do it.

I've spent literally years avoiding a particular person who causes a lot of drama. I thought I was just avoiding potential drama. After my 6 month experience with my back pain, spine surgery and recovery, I was so happy just to be able to walk again and not be in constant pain, it just seemed silly to worry about many things anymore. I realized I was putting actual energy into avoiding this person and just being, well, an ass. So I just stopped. The next time we were at a social event together, we talked. I enjoyed the conversation. I saw the person has changed, just as I have over the last few years. I've now started including this person via various electronic means. The open events we hold on our land are always open to everyone, but I've now begun to extend a personal invitation. I feel good about this. I feel... more free and at peace no longer worrying about avoiding this person. I also still feel kind of like an ass for putting energy into avoiding someone for fear they might cause drama in my life. It seems so silly after what I've gone through. It's already been a learning experience for me. **sigh** I need to stop fighting so hard against those. Good luck with yours!

[evcelt.livejournal.com]

It will probably force me to grow as a human being.

Sounds like that's the meaning for you, which is at least enough to go on...