(no subject)

Thank you, friends, for your substantial, detailed thoughts on helping Trent. As soon as I awoke, I checked my LJ for your thoughts, and as soon as Michael awoke, I asked him to read them.

I really do think we can benefit from a professional evaluation and some extra support. I have asked about this before, and now I feel even more certain this is a useful idea.

Many brains are usually better than one or two when grappling with a chronic problem. Thank you for contributing your insights!

******

What we've accomplished today:

* Email to teachers has been written (Michael) and edited (Sabrina)
* Meeting between Michael and Trent's mom today
* Last night's list of proposed action steps about to be texted to Michael for that meeting
* Possible objections considered and responses prepared
* Trent has been fully brought into the process; he knows what we are going to propose and has had a voice in designing it

What we'll do tonight:

* Sabrina: Go to the gym after class to manage stress and frustration
* Meet with Michael later tonight and go over today's meeting with Trent's mom
* Review early teacher responses in Michael's email
* Note date and time of Michael, Trent and mother meeting; figure out appropriate targeted supportive actions
* WRITE DOWN an action plan everyone can see, comment on and modify
* Email to Trent's mom?

Note to self

Do not claw anyone's eyes out today. Do not claw anyone's eyes out today. Do not claw anyone's eyes out today.

This is simply a stress response in reaction to new challenges; it will pass. This is not anyone's fault. Striking out will only make things worse. Do not claw, yell, strike, snap at anyone (yes, nyx, how foolish of me not to grasp, immediately, that the reversed Queen of Wands is my secondary pattern of reaction to stress).

Do not expect anyone else to change in order to help me manage my own self better.

If necessary, withdraw, withdraw, withdraw.

***USE this anger to push myself forward in solving the problems that annoy the fuck out of me!

It makes me very angry and very sad to see that so many of the choices I make, choices that I imagine to be freely exercised personal preferences, originate in unconsciously directed attempts to resolve old psychological baggage.

It's offensive to see this now. I want to think that I am better than this. I want to see myself as more powerful than this. I want to believe in my own freedom and agency.