Now that we've finally clarified that...

Forty-five minutes into getting ready to go out. I am still not ready.


Michael: I will be bathed and ready in twenty minutes.

Sabrina: Yeah, you have that boy thing.

Michael (glancing into his pants): I do, but my penis has nothing to do with it.

Sabrina: Yes, it does.

Michael (impatiently): No, it doesn't! It's the testosterone, not the penis!

Writer's Block: Excuse me, but there’s lettuce in your teeth.

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Nope. I don't have them. To have bad date stories, you have to have been on dates, and I mostly haven't. Not hardly any. It hasn't been so bad, though. I'm doing alright. : )