sabrinamari: (Leaf on the wave)
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sabrinamari: (Trinity weapon)
It feels as though I haven't written anything real in a long time, but I think it's been less than a week. In reality, I've been distracted by worry over the health of two friends, and between that and scrambling over the weekend, there's been no time to think---because writing is really thinking, but in useful, concrete form.

I'm itching to write. I'm itching to grapple with something real, something I can grasp or get a firm grip on, but it's just not happening. Nothing I want to engage seems to be within my reach right now.

Some of this restlessness can be probably be fixed by a long run and an intense weight training session; some of it is probably best handled by mindfulness meditation.

At least by now, I know that solutions to problems of this kind rarely, if ever, come from the outside. It's all about self mastery and my willingness---or lack thereof---to stay with my own restless mind.

But damn, I would love some distractions right now.

EDIT: OK, many of my Blue Star tribesmen are posting their hinge vows. That's something concrete and useful that I can mimic. Mine: to stop fighting with my body and just listen to whatever it has to say with acceptance, in all realms. I want to make it my ally, rather than treat it as a naughty child who is always trying to get me into trouble. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be talking so loudly if it didn't have something important to say.

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sabrinamari

June 2012

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