sabrinamari: (Inanna/Transformative work)
On Friday night, the ritual, drumming and fire teams worked together to create an emotionally charged place in which each participant could literally confront embodied demons from their past.

It offered us the tremendous opportunity to speak with our pain and choose to let it go.

{Want to know how? Come next year, when we will do something else just as gutshaking and profound.]

I was working, but I had my own demon to confront. I was fortunate and got to do it.

Next year, I want to make sure everyone has that chance to do it (or its ritual equivalent), especially the drummers, fire tenders and Keepers who work so hard to build the space for everyone else.

demon story
Read more... )

In the moment, I especially loved the ones who were utterly terrified, angry and enraged. They looked just like me. They looked just like me when I did it, too.
sabrinamari: (Flowering Sabrina)
This festival opened up many possibilities for me. It also opened my eyes to many of my own as-yet unhealed wounds.

Despite tremendous personal growth, I persist in giving too much power to the voices that say I am not good enough, not "whatever" enough. I fall too easily into the idea that I must be perfect, despite the fact that I know perfection is like death---a rejection of the reality of all of life's messiness.

I noticed how often I assumed that those around me saw the ways in which I am "cracked", rather than the ways in which I am whole. In retrospect, the persistence of this particular illusion is a mystery.

If I am to live up to my potential, I have to take this on. There is no way I can live out my vision without tackling this delusion. While writing, facilitating and teaching allow me to transcend these fears in the moment, I want to be consistently free of them in the day-to-day, so I can relax and flourish in all of my interactions with others.

This delusion also interferes with my ability to experience simple joy, and that offends me. The purpose of my life, first and foremost, is to bring me joy and pleasure, and then, to share this experience with others. Anything that compromises my delight has got to go.

I think I will consciously add this to my work for the coming year.

FoV

Sep. 28th, 2009 12:48 pm
sabrinamari: (Stretching/New (fire) priestess work)
Baby is it sweet, sweet
sweet the sting?
Is it real, this infusion,
can it heal where others before have failed?
If so then somebody
shake, shake, shake me sane
'cause I am inching ever closer to the tip of this scorpion's tail

Read more... )
Tori Amos, "Sweet the Sting"

FoV

Sep. 28th, 2009 08:57 am
sabrinamari: (Default)
Full of opportunities, possibilities and unexpected unfoldings: some for plucking now, some, perhaps, for plucking later.

Where can they go? What wants to emerge from all of this? I am curious.

I have a new housemate, a new role in my extended community, new Craft partnerships and who knows what else emerging. I like it that way: it keeps life exciting.

Oh, and new fears faced as well: always a good thing, even when you don't think so at the time.

More later, although it's impossible to record even a fraction of what mattered most to me.

Welcome home, my loves, and all my companions and colleagues who went there. Now, how will you integrate the changes you created into your life?

Off to FoV

Sep. 24th, 2009 06:48 am
sabrinamari: (Default)
We're heading out this morning after we drop off Trent. Michael has been incredible, doing 90% of our prep and packing with his usual good humor. I am so, so lucky to have him!

I look forward to seeing old friends and new friends, and opening up to renewal.

Blessings to all of my friends and colleagues---I'm keeping good intent for all of us in my heart and mind.
sabrinamari: (FSG)
What I love about FoV is that it brings us a lens through which to see the world, and as all the seers and philosophers tell us, seeing is shaping. We make the world with our eyes and and our hearts; we create it through perception and language.

This morning I awoke to a beautiful boy and a beautiful man grooving to the Beastie Boys, so I joined them for a dance party before breakfast.

Sitting down, my eye caught a paragraph from the 'Shambhala Sun':

"Rhythm of beat, of stress, of rhyme goes so deep in us; it answers a human need. Last month I saw a baby not yet a year old whop a stick against a chair in perfect time, laughing and singing out: Wow!---Wow!---Wow!---Wow! This is the origin of music, and poetry."

"About a Poem: Ursula K. LeGuin on A.E. Houseman's 'From Afar'"
Shambhala Sun, November 2007

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